The Life of Me

Of Chance and Revivial...

2007-10-31T07:18:00.000-04:00

Chance:
a: something that happens unpredictably without discernible human intention or observable cause
b: the assumed impersonal purposeless determiner of unaccountable happenings
c: the fortuitous or incalculable element in existence

Revive:
a: to restore to consciousness or life
b: to restore from a depressed, inactive, or unused state : bring back
c: to renew in the mind or memory

(Merriam-Webster Online)

While I am sure that there has been reams and reams written (those poor trees that were felled to do so...) about chance, I am nonetheless surprised at just how much it affects us all. Why this came back to the top my mind is the recent revival of at least a couple of my friends' blogs, in addition to mine. Seems like, once one started, we picked up. Now, where exactly does chance come in?

These are friends of mine from college, more specifically, from my hostel. This group of people thrown together in the same hostel - same wing - by complete random chance develops into a great band of friends. So much so that, it is slightly scary (to me, at least) to be imagining how life would have been if one of us (again, the paranoia strikes, what if it had been me?!) had been assigned to another hostel, or been granted admission in another college... Chance.... aahhh!

Now, there would be many who would say "Yes, even given that these people are thrown together by chance, they still chose to be one another's friends, didn't they?" Well, could it not have been pure chance (again) that threw such similar-minded people in such close proximity? I guess we could go around in circles on that one...

Then there would be those who call it Destiny. I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. But then, having seen at least one strong example of a purely random exchange leading to a life-long bond of love, I am open to fatalistic arguments now... anyone game?

Whatever, chance, choice or destiny, I am grateful. For a few things in life... actually, as I am slowly beginning to realize, for a lot of things in life... most of them results of apparent chance...

Isn't this post a bit early for Thanksgiving?

PS: The blog revivals referred to are of Anurag's and Anil's. Check them out, if you are anyone other than those two. If you are one of those two, check the other's blog, dufus!

PPS: Oh yeah! Happy Halloween! :)

Lost Opportunities

2007-10-26T09:02:00.000-04:00

That would practically sum up most of the (almost) quarter of a century of my existence.

I have always been a rather-disinterested-in-life kind of a guy with regards to most stuff. Scratch that; I was different once. So what happened?

While I was in college, it took me a good part of three years to realize that I have been missing out on quite a lot of stuff that I could have been doing. I can only blame the misdirected cynicism that one develops at IITs for this. And, I am not talking about academic stuff - that would take a whole different and lengthy rant. I slogged my ass off for two years to get into those hallowed portals. Now what? I looked for some rest, and got quite a bit of it - time that might have been spent doing something, getting involved in something was effectively lost. You know what this leads to? One slowly starts losing interest in everything - and it sneaks up on one. That's a pretty gloomy place to be in, believe me. I did have time to make amends, and I did do that to an extent. At the end, given that those were still the best days of my life, I left with the feeling that I should have done more.

Change scene to OSU. Same story. Of course, it was sooner that I realized I am not making full use of all the opportunities that I have available here in the USA as a 'temporary alien'. I think this has been a more productive time in my life than IIT was. But still, that nagging sense that there's something more I could be doing... There's this line from Fight Club. Brad Pitt's character asks "if you were to die right now, how would you feel about your life?", and Ed Norton's character replies "I don't know[...]". Yeah, me neither...

A friend of mine recently said: "Updates from you, it's like watching The Bold and The Beautiful. I tune in after three months, and I haven't missed much." So true, and pretty sad, I guess. I guess I know what I feel about my life right now. Even if others feel it's like some stupid soap opera that no one cares about, I shouldn't feel the same way about my own life...

They say that life is the best teacher there is. What if I am a bad student? Well, at least now I am just a slow learner instead of being a bad student...

Post-Script: This post was typed up after a week that saw four night-outs, three of which were consecutive. Please do not read too much into this, or how reflective this might be of my general state of mind. I just feel tired, but that's just for now.

Reading...

2007-08-31T04:31:00.000-04:00

From July 21 to August 21:

1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - JK Rowling
2. The Lord Of The Rings - JRR Tolkein (yes, all three books, being counted here as one)
3. The Silmarillion - JRR Tolkein
4. The Golden Compass (His Dark Materials - 1) - Philip Pullman
5. The Subtle Knife (His Dark Materials - 2) - Philip Pullman
6. The Amber Spyglass (His Dark Materials - 3) - Philip Pullman
7. Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency - Douglas Adams
8. The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul - Douglas Adams
9. Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom

I agree this was 'a bit' heavy on fantasy, but hell, the thing started off with HP 7 after all! And to top this off, I even got some good work done on my research alongside! Good summer, overall...

Welcome Advaith!

2007-05-17T12:37:00.000-04:00

May 15, 2007, 1:28 p.m. Pacific Time.

I am an uncle all over again!!! :)

Well, How Long Has It Been?

2007-03-14T15:31:00.001-04:00

I don't even remember the last time I wrote anything here - yes, I know, I could check the "Edit Posts" section and know exactly when and what I wrote last time! I, however, choose not to do it. This keeps it more spontaneous.

Anyway, seems like no one missed me - again, especially before Anurag says it, I know that most of you would not have noticed it, or long since stopped caring. What strikes me as interesting is, most of my friends from hostel who also write seem to have dropped off writing around the same time as I did, give or take a month. Did all of us get really busy around the same time? Weird, isn't it? Anyway, a lot has happened - none of it in my life though. My life stays the same old boring way...

Anurag's gone ahead and gotten married! I'm very very happy for him, though I firmly believe that he's the luckier of the two (I am sure he'd agree too). Another of my closest friends is getting married in late-April. Are we all really as old as that to be getting married already? Who knows...

Continuing on marriages, a cousin of mine (maternal uncle's son) got married in January. I really would have loved to have attended all these weddings, but seems like life gets in the way. Anyway, why I am mentioning my cousin's marriage in its own paragraph is because I am the only one among the cousins on my mom's side that did not attend the marriage. Apart from the fact that I missed a lot of fun, this fact is important because of another apparent significance my cousins see. The cousin who got married just now was the only one who did not attend my sister's marriage way back in 2002 - and he's the first one to get married since (probably because he's the eldest one of us all left). So now, my cousins have come up with this "family tradition" that whoever misses the last wedding would be the next to get married. Add to it the fact that I am now the eldest of us left, they seem to be making plans of my wedding already.

So this is what I have to say to my cousins: One, a one-off incident does not a tradition make. Two, even if I were to be the next to get married, in keeping with the tradition, maybe you all would have to wait another 4.5 years for that to happen. Ready for the wait, everyone? Or, would someone beat me to it? I think so...

So, apart from all the marriages, what else has been going on? The human influence on global warming finally got scientific endorsement early in February - two or three weeks after which we had a huge cold wave, experiencing some of the coldest weeks in quite some time. Some places in New York (the state) got around 10-12 FEET of snow!!! And this, in February! Global warming with intense local cooling, it seems like. For the record, the past two, three days have been just perfect - Spring weather already. I just am sad that we're supposed to be having 39-43 F (3 - 6 Celsius) days over the weekend.

Well, what else... enough I guess... won't make any promises, but I do hope to be able to put something in here more often.

2006-08-17T10:57:00.000-04:00

This should have been posted yesterday night, but then I was too lazy / tired to actually get down to typing it. Another post with random bits thrown together...

The trip - to Chicago - was awesome. It was Anurag's birthday for which I was trying desperately to make it by midnight. Anyway, so, some of us from our hostel met up, seeing as it was Anurag's 25th birthday and also that we all had now a place to stay for free in Chicago. It's a really nice place, that city is. Roamed around some, just sat and talked absolute nonsense most of the time. It's wonderful how time passes when you are with old friends. It was almost like those days at Mandak (that's my hostel, btw) - only we are a bit older, not much wiser for it of course. I had a great time! :) And oh yeah, Anurag made me run (well, jog actually) around 3 miles - 1.5 miles, rest some, 1.5 miles. I never ran (OK, jogged!) so much in my life... felt good!

I made aalu mutter yesterday - after a long time... tiring job actually - peel all those potatoes, cut them... well, too much work... that is why I have been sticking to much simpler dishes for a long time now. It came out good - afterall, I am a good cook! :D I think I will start making some decent food once again, and stop always making something from frozen veggies, which require no effort at all... I am beginning to enjoy cooking once again, after being bored with it for quite some time.

I had been thinking about multilingualism somewhat lately. The reason being that I am spending a good amount of time on Wikipedia nowadays, just browsing through articles and jumping from link to link. It's a damn good way to kill time if you are in that particular kind of murderous mood. So I landed on this page about multilingualism... and been thinking of writing something on it... guess sometime soon... on that same note, I guess I have a few other things to write about - thanks to Wikipedia.

As always when I write such random ramblings on here, I can't help but understand that most people would be bored by all this. People want something remotely interesting to read about. I've seen many lament that the blogosphere has been inundated by people writing meaningless stuff that should never have left the confines of a personal diary. These are mostly from people who take blogging / writing rather seriously - like a professional responsibility - and expect everyone to be the same. But hey, I guess its to each his/her own (can't forget political correctness, can we?). Whatever... I am really rambling now...

Oh yeah, before I stop, I'd like to say - Go read The Five People You Meet In Heaven, if you haven't already done so. Awesome book... Now I need to buy myself a copy of Tuesdays with Morrie. Well, I guess that's it for today...

Waiting... ... ...

2006-08-09T16:31:00.000-04:00

Prologue: What follows was written when I was waiting at the airport for my delayed flight to Chicago. It is as boring as how I felt then. But what the hell, this is my space and I will put whatever b/s I want to…

Is there anything more boring than waiting at the gate for a delayed flight? When you don’t even have a book to kill the time – when you realize that you’re already through the security check-point and there is no bookshop in sight, unless you are willing to go out and come back in again… Actually I think there are more boring circumstances – for example waiting ON the plane waiting for them to fix some technical problem they discover five minutes before scheduled push-off from the gate. I am sure there are other more boring times, but for now, I’ll just say this is it for me – for now!

Well, seems like my flight travels haven’t been uneventful in a while. The last time I flew – to California visiting my sister – I missed the original flight both times! Yes, BOTH times! So this time I decide to get to the airport before time, thinking to myself that I’d rather sit at the gate than hurry at the last minute cursing the weekend traffic. So, I come early, check-in, pass through the security, get to the gate, and just out of curiosity look at the screens – to find that the flight is delayed, a good 45 minutes! DAMN!

Looks like Southwest Airlines is running all flights late today. As I am typing this, an announcement saying “Folks going to Baltimore, you flight is here – finally!” And there is a spontaneous burst of applause – don’t know for how long they’ve been waiting! For those who don’t know, I am waiting for the flight to Chicago – I still got about 40 more minutes to go – I hope it’s not longer. I need to land in Chicago atleast one and half hours before midnight strikes – after all, when I am going for a friend’s birthday, what good is it if I miss the midnight mark? The one and half hours, you ask? Well, I do need some time to get to his place by train, don’t I?

It’s been really long since I posted something on my blog, and I certainly would have liked the new post to be something other than just a random rant at having to wait at the airport. There are other things that piss me off much more, things both in my control and out of it. Guess trying to remember some of them is not really what I want to do right now – later maybe. **Unrelated aside – I am surprised Word hasn’t yet scolded me for wrong spellings and wrong grammar; apart from the auto-corrects it does – not bad Sai!**

What else can I write about right now? Wow! It’s already a long enough (first typo not auto-corrected by Word – typed ‘w’ instead of ‘e’ for enough) post. Well, I guess I will stop here now. I want to write something more like a creative writing piece sometime soon. I can’t say how soon, or how late I will be finally posting it, but I sure do hope it isn’t long in coming! For now, I guess I’ll just stop this and call someone to kill the time…

Epilogue: I finally did miss the midnight mark – the flight turned out to be about 1.5 hours late! I reached his home around 12:20am – damn the airlines! More on the trip shall follow soon…

2006-06-26T14:46:00.000-04:00

Part of an email from a friend after the suicide attack which killed the Deputy Chief-of-Staff of the Sri Lankan army.

The violence started out in the north, the most sensitive area in the country. Within the span of a few months it moved its way up to Colombo... the land of the elite and the moderates... people who don't want war, but are too used to its threat to run away from it. People who love their land more than they love themselves, their children, friends, lovers, homes. People who are reluctant to accept the possibility of being destroyed completely and to prepare for it.

I wonder what makes people live and be the way they are. War is a terrible thing and yet most of us who say so know nothing of it. We don't and hopefully never will understand the full ramification of the word, the process. We can only sit behind television screens or crumpled sheets of newsprint and imagine the permanence of its misery. War is a terrible thing, and yet... nobody seems to really know it. But what is certain is the fact that the human race is cursed to kill itself, if not by war then by the lingering persistence of its pain.

Pessimistic? I don't think so. Sounds closer to the truth to me...

WORLD CUP!!!!!!!!

2006-06-10T11:05:00.000-04:00

It's finally here! Missed out on the first day of play - bloody work! :((((
Catching up now... so that's it for the next one month... not much chance at all for any other news... enjoy the World Cup all of you...

Florida

2006-05-28T12:21:00.000-04:00

Am at Tampa now. We went on a drive to the Florida Keys... went to Key west... did a lot of stuff... had a greaaattttttt time. This post is just to beat Anurag to the post. A more detailed post shall come once I reach Columbus. :)

2006-05-17T18:16:00.000-04:00

FUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Needed some time before I put anything down... Seriously, FUCK!!

Yet Another LOTR Thing...

2006-04-26T22:07:00.000-04:00

In my last post I said: "There are those who believe that Harry Potter is up there at the top of the fantasy pile, but believe me, HP comes nowhere even close to the amazing series that is LOTR."

To which, Krithiga said:
"I wish people stopped comparing the two. Each has its own merit and short comings. In Tolkien's case - it is the inability to sustain the interest of a casual reader and in JK Rowling's case it is the some times Hollywood type sub-plots. Both are vast, have adorable characters, both are rich in terms of beings and beasts. It's really impossible to rate one better than the other. May be the films, yes, LoTR is one of the best films ever made, but story wise it's just impossible. So is the case with other books in the "Fantasy pile" - Philip Pullman, for instance."

First off, let me clear up about the movies. Yes, LOTR is the much better adaptation - one of the few cases where I think the movie was almost as good as the book. Harry Potter movies, sadly, leave much to be desired. I wasn't referring to the movies when I said HP comes nowhere close to LOTR.

Yes, LOTR makes it difficult for the casual reader to stick with it and finish reading it - sad, but true. However, I never was a casual reader, and so I can't really sympathize with them. It still shocks me that people find LOTR "difficult to read", when such a beautiful work compels one to read on and on. Harry Potter, on that count, wins hands down. I know a few friends who started "reading" properly after getting on the HP series.

While HP may have it's fair share of good characters, and a wide array of "beings and beasts", it is not vast. It isn't, whatever people may say. It is a rather straightforward story about a boy facing a great, evil, Dark Lord. Not in it are the complex intertwining relationships where the deeds of many, big and small, finally affect the ending. Some may say that in LOTR as well, it all rested on whether Frodo destroys the One Ring or not, and that is all the story is about. LOTR is more than that. It is not just the overthrow of evil. It is also the establishment of that which is fair and good - where many wounds need to be healed and many wrongs set right, for such is the vast scope of that story.

LOTR is the product of a great imagination. To have built a whole world, and its history and mythology is definitely a lot more than a single story - however clever the plots and references made within it. LOTR encompasses many things which HP simply can't hope to - not any longer atleast, seeing as it is coming to its end. Anurag has said that HP has a lot of plots "flicked shamelessly" from LOTR. To that, I have this to say - "Dude, it isn't that HP flicks from LOTR, it is just that LOTR has so much that very few fantasy writers in the future can ever get out of its shadow!" Tolkien simply envisaged every kind of character that can be present in any "good vs. evil" plot. Period! That is why I said LOTR lies there, right at the top of the fantasy pile.

I can go on and on about why LOTR is much better. Die-hard fans of HP would never agree, and even when they like LOTR as much, they would still say that it is not fair to compare them both. I would say it is not fair to compare them both as well. Harry Potter is a good series, no doubt. And I am glad that it grew from a pretty children's story to a good "grown-up" (should I say?) one - makes for much better reading to those of us who are getting older. It has achieved cult status, but will not become a classic. The Lord of the Rings, on the other hand, is an epic and a classic. It wouldn't be fair to treat it on par with HP - that would be like comparing the Valar with mortal Men, Numenorean though they be! Noble they might be, but not for them the grace of the Eldar!

PS: I know that I haven't really put forth very well why LOTR is the best. I wanted to get some things out of the way, collect my thoughts, and put in a coherent piece here. But well, the previous post had too much discussion threatening to break loose. I wanted that to continue on this post - hence the hasty post. Krithiga, I also replied on Anurag's behalf about the discussion you wanted to be a part of in the comments for the previous post there.

Another LOTR thing

2006-04-20T12:05:00.000-04:00

OK, so it’s been quite a long time since the movies came out, and the craze obviously is not anymore there. And, I did write about the books and the movies already. But I think that there can’t be enough said about these books ever - I don't think I can ever be done talking about them. I don’t need to get into all the reasons why JRR Tolkein is a genius, and why LOTR is by far the best work of fantasy ever written. There are those who believe that Harry Potter is up there at the top of the fantasy pile, but believe me, HP comes nowhere even close to the amazing series that is LOTR. But let me get to the point of this post.

I was watching the LOTR movies on cable last weekend – hence the post. There are undoubtedly many fabulous characters in the series, and it would just be impossible for anyone who read the series to pick out just one whom they liked the most. Does one pick the King, Aragorn? The powerful and wise wizard, Gandalf? The fleet-footed, keen-eyed Legolas? The serious, stocky Gimli? The Elder Elf, Elrond? The Dark Lord himself, Sauron? The fair, intelligent Faramir? Frodo, who proved stronger than anyone expected him to be? Galadriel, the fairest of them all? How can one choose? And yet, in most lists that people (atleast those I know) seldom seem to mention Samwise Gamgee! And that, to me, is simply sad.

How could such a beautifully crafted character simply fall out of people’s attention? Of course, he was always second fiddle to Frodo, in a way. But, as Frodo himself says, “’Tell me about Master Samwise Gamgee’, and people would say, ‘Yes, Samwise Gamgee – Frodo couldn’t have gone as far as he did without Samwise, the brave’” or something quite close to that. Here is a hobbit who is true to himself and to his friends. One who goes willingly into peril for his master, his friend. One who provides Frodo the strength to go ahead with his rather burdensome task. One who retains his wonder at everything the world has to offer, inspite of all he has seen. A hobbit full of wisdom and commonsense, a true friend! And the list goes on… but what more does one need to say?

I admit that I can’t choose one character as my favorite among the many great ones in the series, and then not change my mind immediately. But I am sure that Samwise Gamgee is there right on top along with all the others I like, maybe more than most of the others.

2006-04-19T23:57:00.000-04:00

Well, apparantly I still do have some crap to talk about... things kept popping up over these past three days on which I guess I can write. More to come... :)

The week's getting progressively worse. Did I hit the nadir, the rockbottom, blah blah blah? I hope so, 'cause from here there's only one way to go... But, from experiences past, I think there's still one more really bad day to come before the week is over... keeping my fingers crossed...

And, as I said, more shall come up here soon... and as the line goes "Good Night, and Good Luck!" I ain't having too much of either anyways, hope some of you do...

2006-04-16T15:50:00.000-04:00

I just realized that I don't have anything to say! As sad as it may seem, that is how it is right now.

So I am off of here for quite some time to come. I guess I just need time by myself. It's been nice so far out here. I hope to come back soon enough, but am not really counting on it happening anytime soon...

Bye y'all. Stay safe and have fun! :)

(Not so) Random Numbers

2006-04-05T18:01:00.000-04:00

Let me see...

14, 83, 1, 9, 5, 18, 23, 6, 27, 10, 15, 29, 5, 7-1, 515, 767, 878, 328, 265, 756, 120, 262, 801, 314, 784, 36, 8-20, 4526, 239, 208, 203, 4, 384, 12-8, 1, 14, 15, 24...

Can't think of any more. The first three are obvious to many. There are others who can get what many of the other numbers are about. Please people, silence! :)

I know this is the weirdest post ever here. I don't know why I put this up here now...

2006-04-04T23:32:00.000-04:00

OK. On the request of many - well, not so many, but what the hell! - of my avid readers who have been dropping by here only to be disappointed to see nothing new posted, this is just a "calm down people" post! For those who are about to go "Screw you Sai! We don't care." - don't bother posting that in the comments. I already know!

I have been facing what I would hesitantly call a Blogger's block. I don't call it that outright because of a small technicality that probably exists only in my mind. You see, what I would call a Writer's Block or a Blogger's Block arises when one sits down in front of the computer, ready to expand on some idea waiting to be given form - hands ready to fire off words at whatever speed their hands and limited (or otherwise) talent at typing allows them to - and then realizes that one can't find the words to express whatever it is one wants to express. My problem was not that. No! My problem simply was that I did not feel like writing at all. Never in all these intervening days of sitting in front of the computer, working or simply whiling away my time, did I feel like putting in something here. Maybe that is an indicator of how well or how bad my life is going. But that is too lengthy a topic for me to delve into here. Besides, I am sure that quite a few of you know how that would go. Those who don't, I can assure you that you don't want to know.

I was just reading Aswathi's blog where she wonders about where writing comes from - the heart or the head. I am not sure, but I think it's a product of both. The traditional (again, according to me) writer's blocks are because of the failure of the head to deliver the goods while the heart has already developed the germ of what will eventually turn out as "writing". But what can the head do when the heart itself is not in it? I think that once you have the inclination to start writing, you can - no matter the quality of the end product. But, if you absolutely don't feel like writing, no matter how good you may be, you simply can't. And of course, if you are just doing it half-heartedly, like I currently am, you'll probably end up with the worst crap, like I am right now.

Anyway, last Saturday being the All Fool's Day, there was a lot of vellagiri I indulged in. Well, that is usually the case, but this time it was funny and enjoyable. Had been reading the world's best April 1st hoaxes - best according to the Museum of Hoaxes. Read them here - makes for great timepass, believe me.

The origins of the tradition of All Fool's Day remain unclear and under debate, and it makes little difference what they are. I had some good times when I was a kid on this particular day, and I guess that's all I care about. I haven't seen too many really funny hoaxes in recent times, of course with one notable exception. And, as always, it's Google that comes up with great ideas. Check out this year's April 1st fare from Google. Links to previous Google gags can be found from there. Have fun y'all!

2006-03-08T20:51:00.000-05:00

"Hey."
"Hey, what's up?"
"Nothing much..."
"What happened? You sound awfully down"
"Nothing. I am alright."
"The hell you are! What's happening?"
"Nothing... look, can we just not talk for sometime?"
"Fine."
" "
" "
"Yeah, I am alright now... Thanks!"
"Anytime. So, what's up?"...

PS: Anurag, You ain't the only one who can up with arbit crap... :)

2006-02-20T15:51:00.000-05:00

Made some changes... the tagboard's out. thought some abt taking off the haloscan comments as well, but then decided to keep them yet. dont want to lose out on the old comments.

Been wanting to write something new again, after the encouraging replies i got for the previous post. had been tagged - by aswathi (two different kinds of tags) and nobes (links on the left, no enthu to key them in here now)... thought i wont respond to the tags... just out of an exam and at work now, supposedly doing some work. not really interested right now. later maybe. so typing out watever's coming to mind... worried as hell right now... praying for my best frnd.

anyways, since i think i hv nothing better to do, let me respond to the tags. it's going to be damn difficult. this is how it works...

tag 1
u list out 8 points u r looking for in ur ideal mate/lover, specify the gender u r looking for, and tag 8 other ppl to continue this. first, i am sort of a dead-end when these chain-messages are passed arnd. so i am going to pass on the tagging others bit. second, damn difficult isnt it, listing out 8 points? i'm not making a grocery list, for god's sake!! lemme try in any case.
gender - female
someone - who is smart; i can talk with; who doesnt get too shocked by my sometimes-morbid sense of humor; who can stand my various idiosyncrasies;... well, i think this is asking for too much already... so i guess i'll hv to stop at 4 points. guess am not really too demanding.

tag 2
this one was from aswathi. u list out 6 frnds (i think its 6) whom u wud luv to hv come over for dinner, and why. as with any tag, u pass it on to 6 others. now this is very tricky, as i dont think i can stop at just 6 ppl. lemme see - in no particular order -
"need-to-be-there" - akka, arun, anurag, prerna, archana
"must-come" - aswathi, noballs, murli, madhu, anil, kee, megs, surya, hemanth, arun (aka pandhi, different frm the one in the list above)
guess thats abt it... didnt miss anyone i think.... watever, if i missed someone who's close enuf, they'd know better than to crib - "u're welcome to drop in anytime"...
why? those on the list already know why. others, well, u shud hv figured it out by now.

as i said, tags/chain-mails/chain-messages end at me. so not tagging anyone. besides, everyone i know seem to hv already put their "coz i've been tagged" posts...

god... i think this is one of the few times that i did mention names here. well, dont care.

anyways, am off of work in 15 mins. so i guess this is where i shud stop.

2006-01-29T20:15:00.000-05:00

I am a lonely person. I am a busy person. To explain what I do is actually pretty simple. Now that I have some time on my hands, let me do just that. But this short note on myself will not be as simple as what I do, because I am very complex.

I am the head of an international enterprise. I hold the absolute monopoly in the field and that explains why I am so busy. I have been doing the same thing for as long as I remember. I am too old now to even contemplate those heady early days when I first sensed the opportunity. Now, of course, everyone knows what I do. Infact, no one on this planet can say that they haven't known me. I am in the transportation and courier services industry - to put it very broadly. But let me assure you, this is unlike any of those overnight or overseas delivery companies you see advertised on TV and hoardings and where-not these days. My service is the fastest and the most wide-spread one by far. I provide my services to everyone, and I don't charge a penny! There are, however, many related industries which thrive because of work that I do. I don't have any problem whatsoever with that. To each his own. All I ever wanted was power, absolute power, which I wield already.

I run a very tight ship, taking care of almost all the transactions my enterprise is involved in. Not for me the laissez-faire management and delegation that every one seems to engage in nowadays. This has led many to believe that I am at many places at the same time. They are not too wrong actually. Of course, I do give a lot of leeway to my dedicated development staff. They're still learning. In the early years of my career, I used to be very innovative, if I say so myself. I was the first one to realize the benefits of economy in bulk. I was the pioneer in mass-targeted outreach campaigns. At the same time I am also a strong advocate of personalized individual attention for all my clients. Little surprise then that my clientele includes the best among men, and the worst among men. Not that they have any alternate choice in the matter. Call me boastful if you will, but this is the truth. It's been too long since those days though. Everything those kids in development tell me nowadays, I have done before. But there are some exciting new ideas, which seem very promising in the field trials. Of course, they're all variations of previous experiences of mine. I am getting bored - maybe it is because of the monopoly I have! You wouldn't have seen me indulging in such retrospective musings just sometime back.

There are, however, some interesting wrinkles to iron over every now and then. Some people don't quite understand that they don't have a choice in whether they deal with me or not. It's just a matter of time. I am patient; I can wait. You'd come to me yourself someday. If you don't, I'll come myself, personally, to make sure you don't miss your appointment with me. Considerate of me, isn't it? There are again those who think that they'd deal with me on their own terms - fat chance of that actually being true. I think I deserve to use those words immortalized by Don Corleone more than he ever did - I make people the offers they can't refuse, really can't refuse. To all those pretentious many who think they can say that they've dealt with me on their own terms, I have this to say - I win all the time; and the terms are my own. Do not deceive yourselves.

There goes my buzzer - I am already late for an appointment, and inspite of the monopoly I have, I don't believe in keeping people waiting. I have been too cryptic so far. So let me introduce myself and get this over with.

I am the Grim Reaper. Yes, I am Death... And I will come see you sometime. You can count on that, if on nothing else!

Sai's Note - I have been wanting to write something for quite a while now. These last two sentences "I am the Grim Reaper. Yes, I am Death!" popped up in my head, from nowhere. So this is a very poor attempt at expanding on those two sentences without giving out anything in all that precedes these sentences. Hopefully this isn't too bad an attempt - I solely blame my long layoff period from writing for anything bad about this piece. Feedback welcome, obviously.

2006-01-24T18:44:00.000-05:00

:(

Bad news! ... "Sai, take it like you do everything else.... move on..."

will feel alright in no time... hopefully. Afterall, that's me...

Anyway, not much here for sometime... have other things to do as well... stay safe y'all!

Update: Quite alright now... well, atleast as alright as I usually am... maybe I should have said, "as screwed up as always"... anyways, gotta run, work to do!

Starting Over

2006-01-08T16:43:00.000-05:00

Or is it picking up where I left? Anyway...

Let me start by wishing you all a very Happy New Year. As milestones go, changing years are as good as any to take stock of what has happened and to prepare for what is to come. So here's wishing that you all had a nice time in 2005 and got out of it some valuable lessons to make life less ordinary in the coming year. Here's wishing that all your hopes and dreams come true and that everyone finds more meaning in your lives in the year that will be. And here this wish stops.

In my case, I don't know how well that wish would come true. Looking back at 2005, I really can't remember any specific event much. Strange, isn't it? There are a few thoughts left over in my mind from the year that was. Some are those that need to be mulled over in private, some that need to be worked on with friends (which I am doing in my own laidback way, I hope), and some that can be voiced in public, for what they are worth. Continuing with revisiting 2005, I have only one thing to say work-wise. I've never been so busy doing work in all my life. And the funny thing, to the surprise of many people, is that I think I like Mechanical Engineering well enough now. A few of my friends and acquaintances from IIT were really shocked with responses like "WTF? You, and PhD?!". But well, I guess the part that I learnt about - on my own and from people interested enough to teach it to others - is great, and I don't really mind doing a PhD in this area. Yes, despite all the show of being lazy and indifferent to what I am doing, I admit it. There are some really cool things about engineering that I never paid attention to while at the best damn engineering college in India. One of life's little ironies perhaps...

What else? Bear with me here, for this is going to be a long-ish post. I think I am more than justified now in writing a long post, what with many people asking me to update my blog more often than I was doing it. So relax, pull out that comfortable chair of your's (everyone has one), make a little coffee (or whatever drink you like) if you want, and go on, read this part-rambling, part-musing of mine.

Been to India, after an year and about four months of being in these United States of America. My life here has been OK. Not much to boast about, nothing much to crib about either. Or maybe I am just one of those people who can find something worse that can happen and so don't mind their present station (Yes, this post may involve some unnecessary soul-searching comments from me; bear with me once again). Aswathi wrote that one does not realize what something is unless one misses it. I agree with her in part. But I think you realize how important something is more so when you get back to it after a period of absence. So it was with my India trip. Nostalgia was the least of the feelings I had. Family, friends, and everything that was familiar, all hit me at once. Showing me at once how much I changed, and how much the same person I was. Some of you can understand exactly what I mean, and some may still be wondering what I am going on about. Don't worry, you'll be there someday too.

A lot can be said of my trip home. But I won't say it. A lot can be said of the few days that I have been back here, catching up with friends that were here. Again, not much out of me. A few things though, in no particular order -

Need to get back to India for good. I dont think I can live here for too long. That place is too much a part of me for me to live very happily here.

It is entirely different keeping in touch with someone, and actually meeting them from time to time. And I don't just mean this about really good friends and family, but with some "casual" friends as well.

Well, so, maybe not a "few" things. Just a couple, and there they are - above.

But before I sign off, a few thanks, and just hi's. For those not on the list here, sorry. But these names are here now because I have recent reasons to name them. Love you all, but sorry can't name you all everytime I make such lists. No offence. :)

A - thanks for being there and being you. All the best dude, with all that you have going on your life - from the startup to your own more important personal venture. Oh yeah, and have fun now. No point spending life in hindsight.

A - another one, obviously. Thanks dude for being there, here in the USA. Life would have been much more painful without you here. And hey, thanks for pointing out to me that I am looked upon favorably by more people than I expected, though I'd have preferred it had you used a different way. Anyways...

P - love you. It's been great knowing you too. Am still sorry that we couldn't meet up at all.

A - didn't really expect us to bond as well as we did when we finally met. You've been great to talk with. All the best with your Conn. experience.

Well, I didn't name anyone, did I? Anyway, you know who you are. :)

Once again, HNY y'all.

A Good Weekend...

2005-11-21T09:32:00.000-05:00

... on the whole.

Friday - was busy. Came home later than usual - well, that is becoming more usual now, so I don't know if I can say "later than usual" now. Did nothing Friday night.

Saturday - was a damn great day. I wake up, get online, check for the cricket score, and see that India won against SA, ending their I-don't-know-how-many-matches winning streak. Then see soccernet.com to find Arsenal beat Wigan 3-2. Seems the Gunners played really well. Good! Now, time for THE football game of the season - Ohio State at Michigan. The best rivalry in college football. After a good start, the Buckeyes (that's us) gave up a 9-point lead to those people from the State-Up-North. And, in a great final quarter play, got two touchdowns - winning the game. How much better could the day have gone?

Sunday - spent in the afterglow of Saturday. Did absolutely nothing - as usual, had quite a bit to do.

Today - Ruing the wasted Sunday. Need to get things done. Two-and-half weeks - off to India! Yayyy...

Life...?!

2005-09-13T11:08:00.000-04:00

Confused... frustrated... pained to death... a dim light at the end of the tunnel... long long way to go... a slow march forward... keeping my eyes on the light right now... unnecessary delays when I want to work... conditions conducive - me lazy... nothing else happening... needed a break, took one... had a good time... back to the grind... back to the "same old, same old"... need to take a long hard look at myself... no enthu to think... need to get active... too lazy to do so...

"Get a life"?... well, I have one... just need to improve it... fingers crossed...

Interesting...

2005-08-31T11:44:00.000-04:00

From Barbra Streisand's blog. Lot of liberal political stuff here, but some entries are pretty good.

In 1999, George W. Bush criticized President Clinton for not setting a timetable for exiting Kosovo, and yet he refuses to apply the same standard to his war.

"Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the president to explain to us what the exit strategy is."
-George W. Bush, 4/9/99

"I think it's also important for the president to lay out a timetable as to how long they will be involved and when they will be withdrawn."
-George W. Bush, 6/5/99

"It doesn't make any sense to have a timetable. You know, if you give a timetable, you're conceding too much to the enemy."
-George W. Bush, 6/24/05

Coupla TV Snippets

2005-08-31T11:19:00.000-04:00

Heard on Whose Line is it Anyway?
"When Sting retires, will he be called 'Stung'?" - Colin Mochrie

Heard on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno - guest Johnny Depp
JL: So, I heard that you are keen on getting Keith Richards for Pirates of the Caribbean. How is that going?
JD: Yeah, we're working on that. Of course, he has his teensy tour with the Stones to finish first.
JL: So, did you know Richards before?
JD: Before? Before the Stones? No...

Nice to see a good sense of humor, and to listen to a not corny joke...

2005-07-14T04:37:00.000-04:00

Two weeks of doing absolutely nothing of consequence – just lazing around, visiting places, going to theme parks, and generally having a good time. Alas! All good things come to an end too soon, don’t they? After these couple of weeks in my sister’s place, I am going back to the boring old routine of Columbus – and back to work. As usual, got a lot to catch up on, and got a lot to do. My mom always used to tell me to maintain a “to-do” list – the point of which is something I don’t really get. How can anyone have so many things to do in a day/week that they need to keep a list so as to remember those tasks? What I believe is, if the task is really so important, you wouldn’t forget it; and if it isn’t really urgent or important, then there is no harm really in putting it off for sometime, is there? Is procrastination really a thief of time?

Oh yeah, I forgot. Did I not say something about this post being about American TV? Well, I guess its too late to change this post now – so as usual, the next post will be my take on American TV. See, procrastination didn’t hurt anyone, did it?

The Great Indian Soap Opera

2005-06-30T14:42:00.000-04:00

It's been a long long time indeed since I last saw what is undoubtedly the most depressing programming on TV anywhere - an Indian soap opera. I am at my sister's place now, and so are my parents and my grandmother. Obviously, there is clamor for Indian channels on TV - a wish of the majority I don't have any problem acceding. My problem with this is that most of the programming falls under what I call the "K-Klan" of Indian TV - after the pioneering depths reached by the K-serials from the Balaji Telefilms stable. The same old formula is thrown at audiences in different forms, none too different from the other.

For those who don't know how this works - not that I am an expert, having viewed only about one episode of each serial that came yesterday - let me enlighten you. You can call this MISO 101 - Making an Indian Soap Opera 101 -
One huge rich family; one extremely nice or extremely nasty mother-in-law; one very docile daughter-in-law; one rebellious d-i-l; one ex-lover; a couple of one-sided loves; a very nasty character (usually a woman) out to get the first family; two-three "teenager"s who look like they've been sitting in a college for years and years together;
The above form the basic ingredients - proportions of each can vary depending on the mood of the writer. Also throw in a couple of deaths and/or marriages and you get what can be any god-damn soap running on Indian TV now. What those characters do for a living does not matter - they are too busy falling in and out of love and fights to actually work. They simply make a very good living - no questions to be asked!

Now, don't get me wrong. I've seen some soaps on American TV as well, and I wouldn't say that they are much better. Atleast, those stories try to maintain some amount of logic - though not much; to ask for logic of any soap opera is too much I agree. But at least, there are 2-3 different plot lines I noticed on American soaps; not the same story hashed and rehashed through all of them. Anyway, on Amru TV, I atleast have a lot of options like sitcoms, drama series, stupid standups, etc. All I seem to see on Indian channels is soaps. I guess that's why TV's the one thing I don't ever miss about India!

To come in the near future: Things I find pathetic about American TV...

What's with Tom Cruise?

2005-06-25T02:58:00.000-04:00

One of the most bankable A-listers in Hollywood, Tom Cruise, attacked psychiatry as a "pseudo-science" in an interview with Matt Lauer on the Today show. Here's the transcript. Agreed that he's a damn fine actor and all that, but how the hell is he qualified to comment on psychiatry? I mean, the guy hasn't even completed his high school education, if what I read somewhere is true. He did give a lot of soundbites like "There is no such thing as a chemical imbalance", "You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do." among others. It is not like I know anything about the "history of psychiatry" like Tom Cruise does, but to say that psychiatry is not useful and things like that is plain stupid. OK, Tommy has the right to believe whatever he wants to; and it's not like he doesn't realize that his comments may be taken seriously by a good number of the public. He even told Lauer that since he is a journalist, he should not go about telling people that psychiatry is good. Then how can he tell people that psychiatry is bad? Afterall, he is much more known than Matt Lauer is.

I gather that Cruise doesn't believe in psychiatry since he is a follower of Scientology (although he says that he has always been against it). He said that he would like to make people more aware of Scientology. Good, he accomplished his goal. How much good does it do? I am not sure - there are already people, and a decently good number of them, who are saying that this is Tom's mid-life crisis, even his relationship with Katie Holmes. Now, Mr. Cruise, how does this help people want to know about Scientology? Refuting that psychiatry could be an effective tool even though there are a lot of people who benefit from it, just because you don't believe in it sounds rather foolish, doesn't it? Acting like the know-all is definitely not good. Tom Cruise should have realized that people who don't really know much about psychiatry could and would be mislead by his comments mainly because of his celebrity. I would have thought Cruise would have learnt it after all his years interacting with the media.

I think the problem here is that this man wants the world to follow a path which he thinks is right. Maybe his "star" status did really get into his head; maybe he is just too deeply religious and doesn't want to believe anything against its principles. I don't know. If it is the latter, then all I can say is: Where the hell has you rationale gone? I feel that blindly believing everything that one's religion says is foolish. Obviously since almost all religions' dogmas are more or less influenced in a large part by ordinary mortals, one has definitely got to take everything with a pinch of salt - maybe even more than a pinch. I just Googled for Scientology, and the top results are almost evenly distributed for and against it. This is not just about Scientology; look at any religion, and chances are that you'd find many for and many against it. One should always look for the good aspects and make decisions for oneself. Tolerance is the key... and Mr. Cruise, I am sorry to say that I lost the respect (whatever of it) I had for you because of this "I know best, all those who disagree don't know what they are talking about" attitude of yours.

2005-06-21T23:23:00.000-04:00

I have been busy. I guess that must have been obvious with no activity here in almost a month. One thing that I've realized is that intense academic work does tend to reduce one's creativity. Since I began blogging, whenever I had exams, there is a drop in my posting frequency. I used to attribute it to the fact that I needed more time to prepare for the exams because I usually have no clue what the course material involves. So it has been till I came here - me finding not much time to put anything down in words. But since I came here, I must say that the amount of work I am doing academically has been a lot more than what I used to do while doing my engineering. And, whenever I sit down with time on my hands to write something out, I found myself coming up with zilch, or something I wouldn't even want to read myself. So thrusting it on the few people who bump in here from time to time is not something I would have done. Going back to the line where I mentioned "creativity", I now realize that there will be some who will say, "Sai? Creaive?" Well, I am just in no position to even think up something to write about. It's not like I don't get any ideas nowadays - just that I find that when I do sit down to write them out, I am not doing anything good with those otherwise nice ideas. Crap...

Anyway, I'll be leaving in a week's time to my sister's place and see my nephew... and my sister, and parents... looking forward to that now...

Hello Ashreiy

2005-05-23T21:51:00.000-04:00

May 23rd, 5:34 PM Pacific Time

I am an uncle now... :)

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

2005-05-19T23:06:00.000-04:00

I just saw the movie adapted from one of the most remarkable books to have come from the publishing houses of Ursa Major (or is it Minor?). Anyway, there are two views one can take. Look at the movie as one would look at any movie, and one would be disappointed. Look at it as a fan of the books would, and one would be in a quandary as to what to say exactly. I belong to the second category... so let me try to organize my thoughts...

The movie, on the whole, stays pretty true to the spirit of the book. In this respect, I guess the makers have done a decent job. Though I would personally disagree on some details as to the depiction of various characters in the movie, I think that it was a pretty faithful adaptation. Yes, even though the movie departs from the books, I think they maintained the irreverence to life through parody which is, I think, the basic nature of Adams' work.

However, the main problem is that the books are not really well-suited to be made into movies. They are a great read, and the biggest appeal these books have is the way they were written. While this style may be extremely effective in books, and even radio shows, it is just not suited for the big screen, and trying to do an adaptation would be a huge risk. Though I did enjoy the movie as a Guide fan, I must say that I wouldn't have sat through more than 20 minutes at the most if I hadn't already read the book. A lot of references made in the movie are left unexplained - hence becoming unintelligible to those who are not already familiar with what I would call the Guide-lore (unimaginative, yes). I was watching the movie with a friend and he was like, "Dude, what the hell's happening? And why are you laughing?" at many places in the movie.

Overall, I would give it a 7 on 10, but then, I could understand the movie. For those that haven't read the book, and haven't seen the movie, I would say: Take the book anytime; it is a much more enjoyable ride...

PS: That wasn't really even a decent job of "trying to organize my thoughts", was it?

Life's Simple Pleasures...

2005-04-08T18:55:00.000-04:00

There are some things in life which are immensely satisfying - as someone said "It’s the simple things in life that matter". By this, I don't mean in anyway the poetic allusions to smelling the flowers, looking at nature, hearing brooks pass by making lovely sounds. No, no! Mine are much much simpler - so here goes a small list...

Waking up after a good sleep - Usually we hear about a good night's sleep. I get the same pleasure out of a good sound sleep anytime of the day. How different can it be if it is in the night or in the afternoon? Of course, the one after a hard day's work is obviously much more enjoyable, but who puts in a real "hard day's work" nowadays?

Eating a tasty meal - Those of us that have stayed in a hostel, or otherwise away from home for a considerable amount of time know exactly what I mean. The others - well, it can't be explained. So just take this one from me.

Having a glass (or more) of cold water on a hot humid day - Cold drinks just don't compare with a glass of nice cool water. So refreshing, and as the water goes down the dry throat - well, almost heaven!

Meeting old friends after a long time - Ahh! The good old days!

My ideal day (for now) would be getting up after a good night's sleep, eating the great food Mom makes, and then heading out to meet friends over a couple of glasses of (or more, again) ... well, anything! ;-p and then head back home for another nice sleep session...

But, here comes the clincher - I don't think that all these even compare to how good the following feels -

Taking a leak after having held it in for what then seems like eons... I don't think anyone can deny that this is as close to heaven as one can get for a few seconds here on earth. The relief - nothing in the world can trouble anyone in those 2-3 seconds of the initial burst...

So, let me hear some of what the others think about such ideas as the simple pleasures in life... maybe I missed some on my list that I would have otherwise included...

2005-03-20T02:12:00.000-05:00

Staying in a foreign country can be a pain - when one is staying on one's own especially. Having a group of friends whom one can rely on helps a lot. But I think that it is most important that one gets along with one's room-mates if one wants to have a nice time. I've observed that living in a hostel with roomies is a lot different from living in an apartment with roomies. For one, in a hostel, there is no real sharing of resources, and so I don't think there'd be much scope for conflict within roomies - except of course when there is a lot of differences in opinions. In an apartment, it is a completely different ball game and small things can be very painful. However, I've noticed - from what little I do know of people here - that girls just don't get along with their roomies as guys do. I know some girls here who are so pained with their room-mates that they've already taken up to living alone, and the others I know of are contemplating it. Why is it that, when guys can get along with complete strangers easily, girls can't do that? Quarrelling over petty things seems to be pretty common, and well, childish. I agree that the girls in question don't feel that it is childish at all, but maybe this is just a guy's perspective. Maybe it is just that girls hate each other's guts and can't really adjust as well as guys can. Maybe it is just that guys don't bother much about small inconveniences and let trifles pass for what they are - trifles. I don't know, but I haven't seen too many girls here who are really satisfied with their roomies - maybe it's just 'coz I know so few of them here...

Spring Break!!!

2005-03-17T18:23:00.000-05:00

Well, finally another quarter ends - in a rather sorry manner for me. I must say that I am glad it is over... As time passes here, I see that I am getting a bit more shoved around in life than usual, with that becoming the usual level of shove. Anyway, again, I guess I can just say that I am glad another painful period is over, and there is still some more time before the next phase starts. So this is the spring 'break'.

Now, to escape the routine, I came to visit this friend of mine. The famous Florida Spring Break. The weather thought otherwise, and we are now the victims of a "freak" storm, raining in on the day. Hopefully, it'll clear from tomorrow and I can have a good time for a few days... but then, hope.... me too much of a pessimist I guess...

Well, later...

2005-03-03T20:26:00.000-05:00

Watched Black recently. Awesome movie... Amitabh R GOD!!!! Nothing else need be said!

Hail the Big B...

Decrepit Descriptions

2005-02-18T18:59:00.000-05:00

OK OK... Now what did that post title mean? I don't really know myself... the two words were just in my mind and as they are wont to do, they came out through my hands onto the keyboard. That actually is not the reason... I guess the allure of alliterations is too much for me to resist. That having been said, the title is not entirely meaningless. Ever been on Orkut? For that matter, any such "networking" sites? Even Rediff has started bandying about this Connections or something like that...

All these sites ask one to "describe"oneself... in their words "about yourself"... the "descriptions" become tiresome, worn out... yes, decrepit! I, for one, have always found this very irritating... I mean, I have to take stock of what I am like, what I would want to be like and what would be "presentable" to the whole wide world; and then put into some three-four lines "about yourself"... How ridiculous is that!! Especially for a complex individual like me!! Well, enough of this ranting I guess. Been having a real bad case of Blogger's Block (there goes the alliteration again!!)... been watching the third season of The Apprentice and I blame that for my lack of creativity - this bunch of street"smarts" vs book"smarts" lacks the vital quoted portion; and I think this is rubbing off on me.

Anyway, was watching The Hours and found this nice dialogue worth quoting: You cannot find peace by avoiding life, Leonard - Nicole Kidman as Virginia Woolf. Well, totally unrelated to whatever I was ranting about, but I think it still is apt here 'cause I am sure most of you are decided on avoiding my rants and this quote shall, I hope, serve as a reminder that there is no peace in avoiding it... *evil grin*

Well, in parting, for all those who hate Bill Gates and Microsoft, I take this opportunity to show you that MSN is not really too biased and may not be afraid of some competition. Take a look at these two pages from MSN search - Search 1 and Search 2. Of course I wouldn't mind sharing the widely-known reason why Bill Gates decided to name his company Microsoft with those who don't know it yet (where the hell have you been all this while?) - those interested can mail me. :)

Guess that will be enough for today...

2005-02-01T17:52:00.000-05:00

I watched a full soccer match after ages, and without doubt, it is THE game! And, what a match it was!! It really can't get any bigger than this in terms of league soccer - Arsenal vs. Manchester United. One of the biggest rivalries in club soccer around the world.

After a stupendous run last season - where they remained unbeaten, setting a new EPL record - Arsenal seem to have gone down pretty much, conceding too many goals off late. The first half of the match was an absolute treat to watch. Excellent plays and some rather hot moments between the two teams. The Gunners seemed like they got back in touch with their best game skills and were really good. Watching Dennis Bergkamp make some of the plays he made was really awesome. The second half was a completely different story. Though they did continue making some great plays, Arsenal just couldn't keep Man U back. From a half-time score of 1-2 down, Man U finally fought with a ten-man team (after Silvestre was sent off) to end the game 4-2!! That was a way too big number of goals to concede - 3 goals in one half!! Almunia (Arsenal's goal-keeper) was in no man's land for two of those goals. Arsenal really needs to find someone who can keep the nets well - and soon!! The sad thing was that Henry didn't really get into the game much - yes, there's the great pass he made to Bergkamp for the Gunners' second goal.

Arsenal have ended their 32-match unbeaten record at home in Highbury finally - and the fact that it occurred at the hands of their bitterest rivals is just like rubbing salt over the wounds. Sad Sad Day!

Update: I just realized that Arsenal's Premiership record of 49 unbeaten games was also broken by Man U!! Why, God, Why? Why should it be Man U both times?!

2005-01-21T06:25:00.000-05:00

I have always been a very voracious reader of books of all kinds, and this subject comes up from time to time when I talk to my friends. They always ask me, "So, how many books did you read since we last talked and any you would suggest?" And I always had a pretty decent answer to both questions. However of late, I haven't been exactly up-to-date on my reading. As some of you might remember (I wish!!), I used to read a lot. Since I came to OSU, well, to the US infact, I haven't read more than 3 books I haven't read before. I can't believe it myself. It only hit me when a friend exclaimed, "What's happening dude?! Just three!!" I guess that this is one of the main things I feel is bad about the States. I mean, too much work to do when there is work. When there's no work, all I can think of is sleep and laze off... No time to read. In India, happily, the time I used to work was allotted to reading books, and so I used to get time to laze around as much as I wanted. I miss those days.

Anyway, what the intended topic of this post is how some people say that they didn't read LOTR simply 'coz "there are too many characters to keep track of"!! How many are there? Having read it twice already (and planning a triple soon, hopefully), I can assure you there are not many infact. How can anyone stop reading such a good book for whatever reason? There are some other books as well which my friends give this reason for, but LOTR sticks up maybe because I heard that excuse about the book from quite a few people in a very short time. The god-damn best book I've read to date, and there are people who say its too painful to keep track of (at maximum) 15 important characters!! And I used to think I was lazy!!! Well, people should realize that some books are worth reading however difficult they may be to read - and for that reason alone must be read even if they don't like reading as such. Well, I know that this post doesn't mean anything to anyone else, but I had to shout out somewhere...

As a proud IIT-M alumnus, I want to tell all those who maybe able to go that IIT Madras' culfest Saarang is on from today, infact I think it must be starting in maybe an hour. Those who can, please do go - this year looks more promising than last year; and last year was simply the most awesome edition of the fest for a long long time...

Same Ol' Same Ol'

2005-01-07T06:53:00.000-05:00

Ever wonder how one's life gets into a routine, and one doesn't realize it till very late in the day? I am told that it is a very common phenomenon. Apart from being told, I have seen many people falling into a routine, and waking up one fine day - usually long after the routine set in - and saying, "Oh my God! What has happened to me? How did I become such a creature of habit?" I can say that it is not the case with me...

Oh, no, I am not saying that my life is very exciting and is not in a boring old routine. No Sir/Ma'am! I am very much in a rut (as I like to call it - others call it by different names). The only difference with me is that I tend to realize it early on. I can say well at the beginning of any endeavor whether I'd be falling into a routine, and whether I might enjoy it or not. For example, any thing about classes, and semesters, etc., is sure to throw me in a very very boring routine. Holidays, in contrast, were always good. OK, some people might say, "what do you do in holidays that's not usual? Get up, get ready, and go meet your friends, and hang out. So, what's new?" Well, I guess going out brought with it new things daily. So I beg to differ with those who may say that holidays also follow a routine... Well, I might even accept that they might be usual, but they were interesting at least.

That is, until now! This past vacation period, I don't know what the hell I did - 20 odd days in my life unaccounted for - following the pattern from the last four years! And now, the damn classes started. Yes, from one boring routine to another... Why, God, why? Why couldn't something have happened to me (something good I mean)? I was once enthusiastic, energetic, so on, so on... Now, all I did during vacations was sit home, sleep late, very late into the afternoon and did nothing after getting up! A day spent reading a book is awesome - didn't happen this time! A day watching TV is OK - decayed into another boring pastime! I even had some work to do - afterall, my advisor isn't paying me to cool my heels - didn't do any appreciable amount!

"Why this sudden despair over this boredom?" you ask? Well, that's 'cause I have a meeting tomorrow with my advisor and I am expected to show something tangible for the time I was supposed to have spent doing some work. So sat up the whole night doing some work - boring work again - and have to head out now again to the lab and put what I did on paper onto a comp, and pray that the damn thing works!! Keeping my fingers crossed...

I just realized that I called the work boring - well, to be truthful, I guess I never liked whatever Mech-related work I did till now. I am beginning to see that this thing ain't bad, and is in fact interesting! Why am I not able to bring myself to enjoy something I am feeling is interesting? What's happening here? Well... whatever... here's a resolution I am sure to break within two days flat - I'd change my ways a bit, and start working on time and in time!

Happy New Year...

2005-01-02T01:11:00.000-05:00

Well, many people I know have been looking back on the last year and as is expected, there are mixed reactions from them. I never used to understand why people look back on time during such dates which signify another small rotation in the small cycle of time that is given us. Now, I am beginning to understand why people do it. Of course, I guess it is the best time to identify our shortcomings and such, try to be better than what we were till then... the usual stuff which prompts people to make resolutions. I, for one, am not the kind to make resolutions, unless I have the express intent to break them. Anyway, it is indeed nice to make some changes for the better and take stock of which direction you want to take your life in. Guess I would also have to sit down and take stock and decide what I have to do, and what I would rather not do - but most important of all, I guess I need to figure out why I would want to do something or the other. Need some time...

Anyway, till I sort out at least part of the confusions I am in, Happy New Year. Here's hoping that the new year is better for you all than the previous years were. And that you are better from this year onwards than you were till now...

To B or not to B...

2004-12-30T14:59:00.000-05:00

If after reading this post completely, or even somewhere in between you begin to realize that what's been written is plainly repetitive and senseless, well, that was the original intention of this post. The cry goes round "Why?". Because I am in a sort of a Blogger's Block (nice alliteration, isn't it?) since there is so little presently to stimulate my otherwise sharp and immense brain. And, in the manner I've stated in some earlier post of mine, I want to acknowledge Sweth's post for the idea. So here goes...

"To be or not to be, that's the question" as Shakespeare said in Hamlet. But I begin to wonder, is it really a question? I mean, look at the construction - it so clearly is not a question. Granted that Shakespeare was a genius of words, and so maybe he could take the liberty to say that it is indeed a question. But does that allow us to say the same thing? We are not anywhere near The Bard and so, I beg to differ with him that it is a question. It could become a proper question when we add some other words to it - like "to be or not to be what?" Once that is established, we can think of "how to be or not to be 'that whatever'?" Then we can think of "when to be and when not to be 'that'?" and so on and so forth if you get what I'm trying to drive at. Anyway, that is not the topic of my post today. It has to do with the B-verbs that come to my mind soon as I see that phrase...

Let us first dispense with the obvious... "To be or not to be"... well, I seem to have talked in much detail (much of it useless) about this one. But, I got some more to add... First of all, how do you decide "what" to be or not be? I say, go with your gut on that one. Well, I could go on and on about each of the question listed above, and then some more, but basically the gist of it all is: follow your instinct, as bad as it may be.

Then comes "to blog or not to blog".... well, for me, the solution to that would (obviously) be to blog. But, there are so many things that affect one's blogging that it is not so straight-forward as my solution seems. Living in the hectic world that we do, people find it difficult to do something as easy as lazing off. Now, in this scenario, how can one expect others to do something as intellectually taxing as blogging? Intellectually taxing not because you have to write funny, witty stuff or anything, but because you have to go through stuff like what I am writing now so that others may also read what you write. Well, I hope you do get the picture. On a more serious and practical note, blogging is the first thing that people cut back on when they are pressed for time...

Then comes "to booze or not to booze"... well, once again, there are a lot of factors affecting this decision. Firstly there are all the problems one might (being from a pretty conservative Indian family) face. Then there are the detractors who try dissuading people from boozing (I still can't figure out why). Most important I think is the financial and social constraints imposed on one, which are entirely out of one's control. I mean, apart from a few exceptions, I guess no one would prefer drinking alone. So, if you are in a company of teetotalers, well, what can you do but not booze? Anyway, there is so much more that can be said on this topic - I mean, all the "what", "how", "when", etc., questions pop up... and I am sure no one (including me) has the patience to sift through all those questions.

The last one I thought of, while writing this piece is another question that might already have popped up in your mind - "to beat up the person who wrote this or not to beat up the person who wrote this"... Personally, I would suggest restraint, and if that doesn't work, I would remind you of the "long arm of the law"... but then since my opinion "could" be biased, well, again, go with your instinct - I say that fearlessly 'cause I am sure none of you would take the trouble of coming all the way here to beat me up...

Post-Script: Well, if any of you can think of any more B-verbs that can be added, please feel free to suggest them to me... would help keep me writing such nonsensical stuff when I don't have anything else to post...

Merry Christmas

2004-12-25T16:51:00.000-05:00

Wishing you all a merry christmas.... me having a perfect christmas so far as I am concerned. Lazing away to glory (rather ignominy) like I used to in the good old days of IIT. We're having a "white" christmas, as in its all covered in snow. I don't know what's so special in calling such a snowy thing by a special name, 'cause it seems that this is the case almost every year. So I guess it makes more sense to give a special name to when it doesn't snow during christmas time. But then I've seen some more stupid things being commonplace here in the States, so I guess this is no big deal in the great stupidity of the white man (ok, me not being racist or anything, just a way of words....)

Snow... well, it seems such an exciting prospect when you are watching your first snow... all the playing around, all the snowballs and all... nice and exciting.... the first time u see snow, especially when it just partially covers the grass around, it is beautiful. But then, you tend to be hit by the practical aspects of the snow, which are almost always painful, as it becomes a regular feature. OK, I am speaking here as if I've been seeing snow for a long time indeed, but well, the little snow I've seen is enough to have pained me already.... too damn cold outside, very slippery to walk anywhere... just too much bother for all the nice things it might bring....

The only redeeming factor I see in the snow is that this allows me to laze away - nay, not just allows me, almost forces me to laziness... and that for me is very very important. So I guess I would end saying "good ol' snow"...

Books to Movies

2004-12-19T19:55:00.000-05:00

This was what I thought of writing about before the DPS thing cropped up... anyway, so here it is...

Many movies we see are made from books - novels mainly, biographies, comics and so on... I have always felt that the book is a lot better medium than the film is, though a film doesn't demand the same investment of time and money that a book does. However, reading a good book always leaves a much deeper impression than watching a good movie does. And it is a much better way to spend one's time I feel. I have seen my share of movies based on books. Most left me feeling that the book was a better experience than the movie was. I guess its because a book allows u to understand and visualize every aspect of any scene rather than impose something on your mind like a film does. Maybe there's more - I am sure there is. Just can't put it into words I guess. Anyway, there come from time to time some movies which are almost as enjoyable as the book itself. Here are some I feel are as good as the books themselves.

The Godfather: A god-damn great book, and an equally great movie. The book made me an instant fan of Mario Puzo, and the movie got me to become a fan of Francis Ford Coppola, Al Pacino, and mainly Marlon Brando. I don't know if any change in the cast or the crew of the movie would have led to the same effect that the movie has now. I mean, even after so many years, it is still a much-admired classic. I don't need to praise the book and I am sure that whatever I can say would be sadly insufficient.

Jurassic Park: A great read which makes the readers really imagine the mighty dinosaurs as they once roamed the earth. The movie was just as I had imagined it should be, and not just me, all my friends also feel the same. One of the few sci-fi movies which seems likely to happen - and I think that's what makes a sci-fi movie good.

Lord of the Rings: All three movies. I think that LOTR's the best book I've read. The vision of Tolkein is just too awe-inspiring. And the movies all gave out the same aura that the books project. Each character in the movie is fleshed out in a very faithful manner, and I think it is a really difficult task to not have taken any cinematic liberties and yet maintain the same effect as the book does. I am sure everyone who has seen the movie and read the book is just impressed by the look and feel of Gollum in the movie - the hardest character to portray on screen.

Besides these, there are of course some other movies which are damn good, but somehow, they're not just the same as the book itself. Watch "The Client" or "The Pelican Brief" and then read them, and I am sure you'd be much more impressed by the books than by the movies, as good as they are. One movie I am waiting for is HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy, though I don't really know if the makers can pull it off... Here's hoping that they are able to make the movie as good as the books were...

The DPS issue... what the hell's happening?

2004-12-17T01:57:00.000-05:00

IIT student held for selling DPS sex clip

I came across this news article while going through Rediff. I haven't yet begun reading all the news sites from India, like many people I came to know in the US do. Maybe some day, but that's not what this post is about. Well, the headline sure seems interesting, doesn't it? So I followed the link, and read thruogh the article. After that, I just Googled to see what the clip was all about... Well, many newspapers did throw in a lot of information about the clip, how it got distributed in the first place... well, for all I know, it could be complete misinformation. But I am really pissed at what I read.

A young couple, a very young couple in fact, have sex or maybe it was just the foreplay, but well, that doesn't matter much either. They record the scene "just for fun". The girl ditches the guy after sometime, and the guy starts peddling the clip to his friends for an amount that's still vague: some sites put it at Rs. 100, and some for lesser still. As can be expected, it spreads through almost all the MMS-enabled phones in Delhi, spreads farther through the whole country. Someone copies it onto a CD and the CD sells... some other guy gets it, puts it on Baazee.com and predictably gets caught. And now people like me who wonder what the hell was happening to a couple of kids in their 11th standard, we get to see many discussion forums, and other mundane places on the big WWW bashing the girl, like its all her fault.

That was what I gathered from all the sites I could pull up from Google. What the hell is happening here? Agreed, the kids were wrong in having sex - I still don't know if they did have sex or not - I mean, they're too young to be doing any of the fooling around allegedly on the tape. Now, I haven't seen the tape, and I wouldn't care to either... But here we have people calling the girl a whore and what not... Why? Simply 'cause she thought it wasn't working out with the guy and broke up with him? I don't get it... And no one's even talking about the guy. A really great guy he is, isn't he? I mean, I wonder if he would have sold the clip to anyone if his face were in it! A cheap and sorry chap who couldn't bear a girl dumping him.

Now, many people do it... hell, everyone does it, everyone HAS to be doing it... look at the population! And here is a girl who's being victimized for something which isn't such a big deal! OK, I once again state that what she did was wrong, for her age... but is it so big that she has to live with enforced guilt and shame all her life? The girl was supposedly a brilliant student - one bright future ruined. And the guy gets to go free... no one seems to be blaming him for what happened, when I strongly feel that he is the only guilty party. Some DPS students have even given out the names of the guy and the girl, what the hell were they thinking? Hemant Chugh or something is the guy's name, and I wouldn't take the girl's name here. I feel that more than enough has been said about her, most of it against her! I want to speak about the guy now... What kind of a loser is it who harbors such a grudge against an ex-girlfriend that he has to go about hawking clips like this? I can only imagine what kind of a man this boy would grow up into. Why the hell should he be let go scot-free? OK OK he was also expelled from the school - well, he deserved it, and I think that that's not enough for him.

Now, about those that started all these discussion forums and all about this incident. The majority I have been through seem to categorize the girl as some kind of a cheap whore, and other names I wouldn't bother mentioning here... WHY??? just because she didn't think it's wrong to make out with her boyfriend? Bloody hell, I am sure that if these people were old enough, they'd be knocking up their girlfriends as well... and they go about calling others names! And then after calling her names they ask "Anyone know where I can get the clip on the NET?" Heights of hypocrisy!!! And then there are these moralists who downright slam the girl for doing this, and think the guy is OK. Grow out of the middle ages people! Whether you accept it or not, pre-marital sex has been happening in India and will continue to happen. So why all this hue and cry? Oh yeah, there were even those who said the guy and girl should get married after what has happened!!! They wouldn't have fucking known "whatever has happened" if the guy was even a half-way decent man. Now, why should the girl marry this guy after he betrayed her like this? Where's the sense in that?

Well, this has been a long post already... I guess I should end it already... only one thing to say in parting - please shed the hypocrisy, and realise that if anyone's to blame, its the guy, and not the poor girl...

PS: I almost forgot - I don't know where to get the clip, so please DO NOT leave any comments here asking if I know where you can get the clip; and if anyone knows it, shut the fuck up, I don't care.

Update: Warrant issued against schoolboy. Finally!! He may get out on a technicality of being a juvenile, but well, something's being done... our authorities ain't that bad afterall...

2004-12-12T18:11:00.000-05:00

Well, as usual with me posting after a fairly long interval, and with me not having thought on what to write about, this post is also going to be a general rambling-of-sorts... a random thing...

The Internet's a great place... one is bombarded by so much information, mostly of the kind that is not useful to many. Now, with the excess amount of information, we are also getting a lot more space to store ths stuff in... Just look at the amount of storage space you have on the leading free email providers. Yahoo! gives 100MB, and is one of the lowest inbox spaces now I think; MSN Hotmail also rolled up its sleeves and got into the inbox-space war and is now offering 200MB; Rediff and GMail give 1GB each... and people like me having accounts in all four have somewhere near 2.3GB of space in which to store their correspondances, and also the many many email forwards we get. I don't remember the last time I cleared my inbox in any of the accounts. I was just wondering about this, and looked up my Yahoo! inbox, and found that I still had some way old attachments which I would have deleted immediately in the old days. And, I also have this blog, which gives me almost unlimited space (practically) in which to save these mostly useless ramblings of mine... well, am enjoying it all the way....

American Football: well, what can I say about this game? People here are just crazy about it. I may not be too quick on the uptake, but I still don't get the game. I mean, I understand the rules a bit, and all that, but well, guess I am too much of a soccer man to be too interested in this "football" where all the passing and playing is done by holding the ball in the hands. Why the hell do they call it "football"? Can someone please give me a convincing reply? Anyway, at OSU as in everywhere else in the States, football is big, and has been much more so since OSU won the National Champions title in 2002. This season was, simply put, bad. But well, the team had all these reasons like almost all of the defense graduating last year and stuff. Anyway, we have this BIG rivalry with the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, referred to only as "the University Up North" - believe me, its really huge, the rivalry I mean, 101 years old. The only comparision I can think of in sporting terms is the India-Pakistan or the erstwhile England-Australia rivalries in cricket. Whatever happens in the rest of the season, beating the Wolverines (the team from up-north) is all that matters. And that's exactly what happened this year - the OSU Buckeyes beat the Michigan Wolverines - and all is well with the world! Go Bucks!!!

Why do some friendships go bad? Long-time friends also get estranged, and no, I am not just talking about the distances involved - all the distance thing is no longer a big deal in keeping in touch. Differences of opinion do exist, and they have always been there in any friendship. So, why do these differences become important all of a sudden? What catalyzes the flash-point? Well, can't think of an answer now... will have to think about it... so goodbye till then...

Update: I totally forgot... MS Subbalakshmi passed away yesterday... awesome singer, and really one of the greats... really sad thing... isn't it?

Busy as hell...

2004-12-07T05:32:00.000-05:00

These past few weeks have been hectic, and as usual, due completely to my laziness. Exams week at OSU now, and I am just about to go write an exam in about 1 hr 45 mins (look at the timestamp). As expected, the first thing that gets cut when one doesn't have enough time on one's hand is blogging. Some have said that my irregular posting is the main thing faulty about the blog. I would have loved to point out many more failings if this were not my blog, but well, since I am the one passing judgment, I would gladly agree with those people. I don't know why I am writing all this; well, could be the result of a night's hard work of trying to assimilate at least part of all that was taught in one whole quarter. Life in IIT was much simpler, you always had someone or the other to "put fundaes"... here I am pretty much on my own, and I don't remember when I put in even a fraction of the effort I put in just the past two-and-half months. Well, whatever, dazed... tired... pained with life... generally f$*#ked up... so will stop here...

The IIT-Brand... Is it that necessary to us?

2004-11-14T21:55:00.000-05:00

A female friend of a friend of mine who's at IIT:
"You know, you are ideal boyfriend material : XYZ caste boy, smart, intelligent, and more importantly, from IIT!!!

Well, as flattering as it may sound that gals think we are "ideal boyfriend material" and may even consider taking us home to the folks, I don't take kindly to the "more importantly, from IIT" bit.

Admittedly, most of us have dreamt of being in that club which theoretically includes the best brains in India. But once reaching there one thing that most, nay all of us have realized is that though we may have cleared one of the tougher entrance tests and 'proved' our mettle, what really matters in the end, on campus - and for most, off it - is not the fact that we had a better education, but that we made some memorable friends that stay for life. Ask any IITian what he remembers from his/her campus life, and I am willing to bet my hand (forgive the cliche) that they'd refer to some anecdote of hostel life or the various hang-out spots present on every campus.

Though IITs do play a great part in how we shape up as individuals, what we are is not determined by IITs, but by what we choose to take out of them... "more importantly IIT"... well, it ain't that important to us, if anyone is bothered to know. Apart from the pressure to keep up a front of superiority, which none of us feel, being branded is not what we want. Most of those who come into the IIT system are already highly individualistic people who are each unique in their own way, and I think that branding them all is not just an insult to the individuals, but also to the system that made them unique in the first place.

It was not just this girl's comment that made me write this down. Sometime back, I was reading an article about IIMs and how nowadays a majority of the students there are from an IIT background. The author goes on to write "the IITians no doubt would be circulating this article in email forwards patting themselves on the back... blah blah blah"... Do people really think that we are such egotistical idiots who take the first opportunity at "blowing our own trumpets" as a former prof of mine was fond of saying? Well, no doubt that we are immensely proud of our being alumni of such great institutions, but we value the fact that what we learned most from that place is that we are not special because we got in, or survived 4/5 years in the system, as may be the case. The place - and the system, even - is special to us because of the people who made up the place with us, and what we all shared. I think this is something that people see in almost all other educational institutions. I don't know why people tend to glorify us - well, I can't say I have a problem with that. My problem is that in glorifying us, people tend to concentrate on things that are not special to us, this special set!

I really didn't know what I would write when I started this... just pouring out on the keyboard whatever is coming to mind, and so the post may look logically unrelated to the start. This is just what I felt as I sat down and this post just came onto the keyboard without much intervening thought process. So in the end this post is really a rambling, but I don't care. The "more importantly IIT" specification leaves as bad a taste in my mouth as does the "XYZ caste boy", though I perfectly understand the importance of the latter specification to many in India.

Finally, yes, we are proud of what we were, what we are, and we know that our time at IIT did indeed help us become what we are. But - and I think almost everyone else from IIT would agree with me here - we would have become as special anywhere else if we had this same set of friends and companions-in-misery as we had in IITs. So please, we may indeed be ideal boyfriend material, but its more importantly because we are smart and intelligent, and not "more importantly, from IIT"...

Update: Well, I don't think I made myself even remotely clear as to what I meant in the whole rambling above... Well, all the IITians I have known - seniors, juniors, my batchmates, people from other IITs - are special in their own way. My problem as such is not that people make us out to be a special set, but the reasons they give. I mean, saying that we are special just because we made it to IITs is a gross injustice to all of us - we all are special indeed and we are special in our own personal way. I believe we all made it because we are special, and not the other way round. I may sound very conceited, but that's how I feel. This is not to say that those who haven't made it are less special or anything - just that we had some extra luck favoring us that fated day as well...

2004-11-03T04:22:00.000-05:00

The big news of these times, as almost everyone knows, is the US Presidential elections. At the time of writing this post, the two candidates are still in a very close fight, and as was the case last time, this year also, it seems like the outcome of one state might turn the tide in one guy's favor. And that state happens to be Ohio! Where I am presently! This year, "analysts" say that Ohio could be what Florida was in 2000. Anyway, I am not too bothered as to who will win the election, but this campaign did give rise to some real great soundbites. I must quote Sen. John Kerry's "This year, every vote will count, and we'll make sure that every vote will be counted." Dubya, well... he did give some interesting quotes, but I think that he didn't come anywhere close to his famous goof-ups of 2001, just after he took over the Oval Office.

Anyway, this election-mania has thrown up some real nice quotes from ex-Presidents and I really like Jimmy Carter's quote, much after he stepped down from office : "My esteem in this country has gone up indeed - when people wave at me now, they use all the fingers!"

And, one more thing that seemed pleasant is the two-term restriction for being the Prez. Well, I think India could use that as well... but, then again, who knows, it might just end up as a shadow PM in Delhi finally.... well... I'm really rambling on now... gotta catch some sleep...

2004-10-23T01:10:00.000-04:00

A forward I got recently...

An engineer's 10 engineering commandments of Life

1. Thou shalt study only during the preparatory leave.
2. Thou shalt never write thy assignments thyself.
3. Thou shalt begin writing thy journals only on the morning of submission.
4. Thou shalt treat all marks above 40 as bonus.
5. Thou shalt have at least 70 per cent attendance in the canteen.
6. Thou shalt pass GRACEfully.
7. Thou shalt always be an OUTstanding student.
8. Thou shalt give thy attendance without being present...PROXY is a MUST.
9. If thou can't convince them, confuse them.
10. Thou shalt start every sentence with a four-lettered word.

Personally, I think that the title should have been "An Engineering Student's 10 Commandments", but since I didn't start this forward chain, I shall refrain from more comment. I totally agree with the ninth one in particular, simply 'coz I survived four years by confusing people who weren't from IITs that we are indeed some greater race than ordinary enginnering students. But now, I think I don't need to hide behind any bluff: I am truly better than most people... well, just kidding... Another reason that I really like the ninth one is that it is in direct contravention to the commandment it precedes: This sentence doesn't start with a four-letter word!

By the way, I also agree to a great extent with the last commandment... go figure...

Life, the United States and Nothing Much More

2004-10-06T17:11:00.000-04:00

(Inspired by Douglas Adams' Life, the Universe and Everything)

I know that a pretty good number of people who read my blog (at least those that I know do read the blog) do know that the title was inspired by Adams' book. But one of the first things that I learned here in the States is that plagiarism is a sin. Plagiarism is defined (at least at OSU) as the unacknowledged use of someone else's ideas, work, etc; it can lead to some pretty undesirable consequences. Hence I am taking no chances. Better safe than sorry... (now, don't tell me some One Person has the intellectual property rights on that phrase)...

Anyway, why plagiarism? Well, this past week saw Sai getting his first sets of homework at OSU and plagiarism is something that is a big issue here at US univs. I know that the cry goes round (phrase courtesy P.G. Wodehouse), "Sai, and Homework?!"I know... I understand... Sai is known to be one of the last ones to be doing a homework, and that, on his own! Sai doesn't remember doing a homework in the past 4-5 years. Even the "assignments" (as opposed to homeworks) that Sai was required to do were mainly the result of collective effort, with Sai's contribution being low to nil. And yet, and yet, Sai sits down to do his homework and surprisingly (not surprising if you do know Sai), he does it well, and on time. I hear rejoicing and cheers all over (Thanks again, PGW).

Who am I kidding? This past week was one of the most painful weeks in the recent past for me. I mean, doing homework!!! And I have them piled over on a day-to-day basis. Yes, I have been submitting in a homework a day over the last week. I know that those in the US already will tell me that's pretty usual, especially in grad school. Well, hearing about it was totally different from actually having to do it. But then, I am taking this positively. Good for the character, good for the soul... and so on and so forth...

The US has been interesting so far... and they've got elections this year (who doesn't know that?). There were debates between the candidates, which could have been very interesting - just that Bush and Kerry didn't (or more likely couldn't) make for interesting debatists (now is it a real word or did I just make up one new word?) The Cheney-Edwards debate was better with at least one guy going on the total all-out offensive. But these debates just got me thinking how it would be to have such debates in India, say between the Prime-Ministerial candidates. Here was what I thought -

Rational Me (RM) - Wouldn't it be interesting if we had such debates between PM-candidates back home in India?
Usual Me (UM) - Don't be stupid! We don't have any candidate for PM. They just happen to become PMs when someone else does a tyaag. No one knows who the next f***ing PM will be.
RM - Yeah, that's right. OK, let us assume that there are candidates from the beginning of the campaigns. Then wouldn't it be interesting to have debate?
UM - Could be interesting... but our leaders don't have anything interesting to say, least of all in the run-up to elections
RM - Yeah. But they do keep making some real interesting comments and sometimes insulting statements from time to time, don't they?
UM - Yeah, they do.
RM - Then how would it be if they saved all those comments for the debate and said them then?
UM - I wouldn't want to watch that debate except on TV. People could die at such debates or anywhere near such debates...
RM - But... er...

Roomie of mine - Hey, coming for dinner or not?

UM - F*$# politicians. I'm hungry...
RM - Me too...

Me to Roomie - What's for dinner?

Anyway, its a pretty long post already... gotta run now... yeah, you guessed it right (if you guessed it at all) - got a homework to turn in tomorrow...

2004-09-22T17:28:00.000-04:00

Just had my first day of classes at OSU. It was OK, but I have this feeling that the days ahead are not going to be so easy as they were in IIT-M. Keeping my fingers crossed for the future...

At My University... Finally!!

2004-09-10T15:22:00.000-04:00

Yes, the holiday is over and I guess its back to the books for me soon. I am in Columbus, Ohio now and classes start in less than two weeks. Before then I need to learn things that I was supposed to have learnt in my under-grad days! Well, let's see how that goes...

The past three weeks have been really good, me spending time with my sister for such a long time after about two years and all that senti stuff... I did see some places during the time, but mostly I did what I think I am really good at - laze around, watch TV, you know, generally having a good time. One should see the way these people watch their carbs, calories, fat content et al. I mean you have a "fat-free this", a "low-fat that" or a "low-carb the-other" everywhere you see. Very different from India where we used to eat anything and everything...

Another thing is the way one is "pampered" - to quote a friend of mine - and the thing is that you get used to them so quickly. Nice comfortable place to be, and air-conditioning is somewhat of a necessity here... well, just some of the things which just hit me as different. One more thing is the kind of shops one sees here. Really big and you have so much variety... hmmm... I think I can go on and on about these small things which are no big deal as such... but who's interested in this - not even me... so I'll stop for now...

2004-08-26T23:05:00.000-04:00

I just realised that the US of A isn't the first country I set foot on outside India. There was a stopover at Frankfurt; so that would make Germany the first foreign country that I have been in! Strange that it should hit me now... well, whatever...

In Silicon Valley...

2004-08-22T03:37:00.000-04:00

The New World, The Wild West... Silicon Valley. I am in the capital of the Silicon Valley, San Jose. When I was boarding my flight, there was this guy I met who told me that I wouldn't feel like having left Hyderabad - much less India - at San Jose. I should say that its almost true, though I should say that no place in the world can have the same traffic as Hyderabad does. Well, I digress... returning to the topic on hand...

One thing I noticed about the place is that it has too many ways: freeways, highways, expressways, et al. I went with my brother-in-law to get something, and the place is good. I haven't had much chance to interact with the people here, except some friends and cousins, and the words of the man on the plane came back to me - it really did feel like I haven't left India behind. Well, I guess I can pitch in more accurate and complete impressions after some days here, and more importantly I guess, after going to my university. Presently, I am happily enjoying my sister's hospitality. That would last till Monday, when my sister says I'd have to start cooking under her supervision. Anyway, I guess that's good news for my roomies-to-be. :)

Last Few Hours...

2004-08-18T15:01:00.000-04:00

Yes, these are the last few hours for me in India for what could very well be a long time. I have less than 24 hours left in my home, and just more than 30 hours in India. I don't know how people feel, but I don't yet have this feeling that I am leaving the country (just can't imagine it yet!) for at least two years (hopefully). I guess it will hit me on the plane... anyway... Next post will be from the United States of America. And, before anyone bothers to ask, "No, I haven't yet started cooking."

2004-08-03T03:17:00.000-04:00

Indian Institute of Technology Madras hereby confers the degree of Bachelor of Technology in Mechanical Engineering on K Sai Krishna given this day the Thirtieth of July, 2004 under the seal of the Institute.
Signed by the Registrar, the Director and the Chairman, Board of Governors of IIT Madras

The above few words are the culmination of the past four years of my life. Yes, I am finally an engineer!! Feels kinda different now, being an IITM alumnus and all that instead of a student. It was very good visiting the place after a long time. Whoever coined the phrase “home away from home” surely must have meant college hostels. Damn, I still can’t digest the fact that I am leaving this place for good! Anyway, I guess I better stop this before I get more senti.

Another milestone of the past week happens to be my first anniversary on the blogging world. Looking back, I think it has been very good and I haven’t been bad myself. Well, I’d sign off now with a hope to put in more and better posts in the future…

Hellas, Hellas, Hellas...

2004-07-07T02:42:00.000-04:00

Greece, Greece, Greece…

No one would have believed that the first and the last matches of the just concluded edition of Euro Championships would feature the same teams. Portugal was still struggling to find form and the Greeks were not even considered the underdogs of the tournament: they were always considered the outsiders. The first match was considered one of the shock upsets that keep occurring from time to time in every sport. But the Greeks showed immense spirit as they scripted a true football fairy tale!

The Portuguese also showed some true grit in bouncing back from a rather unflattering start to what finally turned out to be a glorious campaign. It is indeed no small feat they achieved when they ousted three of the better teams in the tournament one after another – Spain, England and Netherlands. It is sad to see the last of the so-called “Golden Generation” of Portuguese football – Luis Figo, Rui Costa, and Fernando Couta – go out in defeat; they deserved to win what is their last campaign before they handed the baton to the younger crop. But all in all, it must be said that they did give us some excellent football during the past three weeks.

The Greeks stood no chance of making it past the league stages – or so thought everyone at the start, as I said already; no wonder since the Greeks never even had a single victory in a major tournament before now! They didn’t have any big names to boast of, unlike, say, France or England, or any of the other teams in the Final Eight! Coach Otto Rehhagel did a really fine job with this team and they did play well some times. But I think the main reason they won the championship is because they could convert the few chances they got. Look at the final match itself. The Portuguese almost never gave up their attacking game, always forcing the Greeks to fall back. Yet, the Greeks converted the one real opportunity they had and they managed to hold on to that lead. They never let off, they were unfazed by the big names and they stuck to their game plan. And, one more thing that favored them I think was the fact that they did not depend on any one man – “The” Man – to get their victories, there were no heroes among them, and they all became heroes together!

I guess that’s the lesson we should take out of this extremely enjoyable series – most of which I missed because of stupid games played by the cable networks, but let’s not get into that now. Back to the lesson – I think it is that when in a team, one should realize that everyone is as important as anyone else. That alone would lead to true teamwork. One might succeed on one day and another might on another day.

PS: Sorry if I seemed too serious today… just wanted to put this down online…

Signing off with a toast: To Teamwork and the Underdog!!!

2004-07-03T16:29:00.000-04:00

I was just browsing through the vast labyrinthine network of the great place we call the World Wide Web and came across this link to a jokes site. Apart from the usual Sardar / blonde and the question-answer jokes, there were the following two small ones that I felt were good.

Man's greatest enemy is alcohol, but the Bible says, " Love thy enemy!"

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

I don’t have much to write now, except that the great good news of recent days is burning a real big hole in my pockets, and that too at a very fast rate. Well, I am not complaining much, but my dad sure is cribbing about the way I am spending now, and that too for small kutti treats with the real big one still pending. I guess I have just got to make time for that big one and then avoid my dad for some days!!

On Cloud Number 9

2004-06-30T16:48:00.000-04:00

Maybe a bit higher...

There is God, and I have proof to show this! I was reading this on Aswathi’s blog just the other day. When I was reading that, I was like, “Yeah. There is a God. But He is damn selective to show the proof.” I had been in a very negative mood for quite sometime now, looking at the worst possible scenario in all situations. Understandable, given the difficulties I have been facing regarding the financial support documentation I needed to show for my visa. Well, the time has come finally to shed the cynical outlook acquired over the past four years and look at life at least as it really is. It ain’t all that bad afterall, is it?

Yesterday, June 30th, has been really good for me. Everything just seemed to fall in place as in a perfectly set jigsaw puzzle. First up, I just log into my mailbox, and the first mail that hits my eye is from this professor I had been in touch with for financial assistance, and the subject line read, “GRA Offer”!! Now these two words really made my day, well, a lot of days can be said to have been made with them now! Yes! I finally got a research assistantship from this prof. I don’t think I have been happier ever. My mom said that she didn’t see me happier even when I had made it to the hallowed portals of IIT Madras!! Well, I should say that it is indeed so. Afterall, the amount of uncertainty involved with getting an admit and no aid, especially for a PhD, is a lot more than that involved in waiting for JEE results. I guess it’s difficult to explain…

Everything else seems to fall in place, as I said – the bank managers my Dad met today were a lot more courteous and helpful and more encouraging than before; even ESPN is being telecast even though there is a soccer match today, against the norm! I guess I am just seeing the silver lining in all things now. It’s just the mood I guess. Anyway, all I can say is that I am really happy today!

I would like to end saying once again, “There is a God! And He knows the best damn time to show Himself to you. Thank You, God!”

Random Ramblings II

2004-06-28T14:19:00.001-04:00

Continuing with the random musings…

We are, as a lot, bad gifters. Maybe I should say, bad gift-givers, since Word says there is no word as gifters. Anyway, there was this birthday party of this five-year old kid of one of our relatives – I can’t go into the exact relation; too long and complicated to bother explaining it here. Anyway, since they were not so close that we knew what we could give and also since they were not that far off to skip the party, we were in a quandary as to what could be given in such a case. Finally we decided that cash was the best bet. Anyway, I know of many people who are simply as clueless as I am when it comes to giving gifts. Of course, I do know of some people who are like the best damn ones also, but the former form the majority. Most of us escape through the route we took: give cash and wash your hands off! Then again, there is a dilemma in this too – how much to give? Of course it depends on the receiver, but even then, it is almost impossible to come at the right figure – one is always left with the feeling, “Did I give too much or too little?” Well, some questions just have this damn nagging effect and they just won’t and can’t be answered. Sort of like, “Did I turn off all the lights / the gas stove?”

Kids – like them, hate them, you can’t ignore them, especially when you have doting grand-parents to keep reminding you of their respective grandchildren’s unique qualities. I have observed that however much parents praise their children, they almost always draw the line somewhere, lest the kid get too spoilt. The same people, upon becoming grand-parents simply turn a blind eye to the irritating things the “tiny tots” do. They would undoubtedly have at least reprimanded their own kids for the same actions. I have seen this happen with quite a few of my uncles and aunts who turned grand-parents recently. Seeing accounts of kids nowadays, it definitely seems that the present generations are getting smarter by the minute. Anyway, it still surprises me to see people applying different standards to their children and their grand-children. Can anyone tell me why?

Bank managers – they sure do act weirdly! As I mentioned in some previous post (in case I haven’t, please read on, you haven’t missed much), I am doing the rounds for a bank loan to show funds for my stay in the US of A. Unless you happen to know someone high up enough on the bank ladder, the managers seem to be suffering from a serious superiority complex. I mean, I always thought that banks made profits by lending the money that few depositors leave with them, and getting back higher interests than they give out to the same depositors. Now, approach any bank for a loan, and you see the bank manager go like, “It’s your problem that you need a loan, and since I am in the position to grant that loan, I am somehow greater than you. So, I can treat you like dirt, if not like shit!” Well, I know that it is indeed too much to expect professionalism from employees of nationalized banks, and all that, but isn’t it a bit too much when you know and they know that the salaries they get are by lending such loans to people like us and they could, hence, be a bit more helpful? Is that asking for too much? Now, mention some name of an acquaintance who is some big officer or some union representative and you can see the change in the attitude – they become all nice and helpful. Maybe it is something that is inherent in all people in authority; maybe it is just seen in some people, but I am yet to see a manager who is willing to help even though you don’t have the “right” contacts.

Soccer - the great cable networks in Hyderbad play spoil-sport now. Some problem with the amount outstanding and the bloody networks start disconnecting the channel on which matches of Euro 2004 are being shown!! They should have settled this way before the tournaments started!

Too long a post already… I think that would be all for today.

Random Ramblings...

2004-06-26T16:41:00.000-04:00

I am a bad user of alliterations as the post title suggests!

These days, it just doesn’t feel all that comfortable to sit down and write anything. I don’t know why, but I just don’t feel like writing though I am thinking up so many things nowadays. I am partially free from the tensions of the funding, etc., that have been mentioned in my previous posts. Not that they have been solved, but I have learnt to live with them without bothering myself overly about what is not in my control. God! That just makes me feel like I was some guy preaching the new meditation technique doing the rounds, whatever that may be! Anyway, getting back to what I was mentioning, maybe I am getting too impatient to just sit and type out whatever thing I wanted to write about during the day. I read others’ blogs and think, “Now, why don’t I sit and do the same thing?” Well, I guess some things are just the way they are – no point looking for explanations here...

I saw Lakshya couple of days back. I didn’t like it as I liked DCH. I believe Farhan could have done a lot better. I agree that the movie was not as clichéd as other Kargil spin-off movies generally are. But it is definitely not the “coming of age” movie it was touted to be. Anyway, I guess it can be given as a “decent watch” and definitely worth watching once in the theatre.

Hyderabad isn’t really that big a city, but it sure has grown a lot in the four years I have been away. Or, it could just be that I am realizing the size after having moved to the suburbs and having to come all the way to the city center to meet friends. All the school friends I am still in touch with stay almost in the heart of the city; ditto for the friends I made in IIT – those that I want to keep in touch with. The regular up-down commuting is seriously painful if it just has to be a meeting for about an hour with just one friend, unless we are going out somewhere. So, nowadays, it mostly happens that a group of us make plans and then only do I take the trouble of venturing inwards to the city. The end-result: a lot more time spent at home doing nothing. This in turn naturally led to my taking regular afternoon siestas, which in turn leads to my parents’ pestering me about my sleeping habits, or rather, my waking habits. My dad would roast me if he sees the time stamp on this post now – I assured him that I would be in bed at least an hour before now. So I would put an end to this mish-mash of entries and try to get in a coherent post sometime soon – as soon as I get into the mood for writing.

Euro 2004 et al...

2004-06-16T14:33:00.001-04:00

Well, the boredom and frustrations of the past few weeks have taken a brief time-off with the beginning of Euro 2004 - the biggest tournament in football (soccer for some) after the World Cup. This time around, it has been a very interesting affair till now. There have been some really great matches and some surprising outcomes. The defeat of Portugal at the hands of Greece was one such. The spirited fight put up by the minnows Latvia in their opening game against Czech Republic is admirable to say the least.

The classic sports rivalry between four of the greatest nations in football has provided for two very exciting matches already. The France-England match was really something that HAD to be watched Live. There are some who say that there should have been more goals in such a game, but just seeing the way these two teams played was worth it, never mind the goals. "The Midfield Magician", Zidane showed his class once again with the two goals, albiet off deadballs. Though Michael Owen was not what he usually is, the English side did show excellent spirit and well, in the end, I guess all the spectators got what they expected out of the game - high quality football.

The Germany-Holland match was also a great one, with both teams coming into the match in not so good form. The much-panned German defence showed that they are not so weak a wall to be breached as easily as was assumed. This can be seen by the fact that Oliver Kahn wasn't much bothered during the play - he only had to make about a couple of serious saves and he let another one pass through him. The Dutch team also showed good playing skills and they did get some real good chances, of which they could convert only one. Van Nistelrooy put in one really exquisite goal while in mid-air and not facing the goal completely. A quick piece of trivia picked up during the match: Whenever these two teams faced each other in a big competitive series, the winner of the match went on to win the championship. Though this trend is too difficult to live up to now, I guess all we can say is, "one never knows..."

The other matches - Czech Republic-Latvia, Italy-Denmark, Sweden-Bulgaria, Portugal-Greece all had their great moments but the two matches above really take the cake in terms of the kind of game the teams played.

I know that these reviews wouldn't matter much to anyone. Those who don't follow football wouldn't care and those who do wouldn't find anything new nor special about any of my rantings here. Just my views... The games did take my mind off the worries I have been saddled with nowadays. So, worth posting here...

2004-06-14T12:42:00.000-04:00

Three weeks have passed by since I came back home. I am presenting an almost week-by-week analysis of the feelings I have undergone here. It must be noted that all this time is marked by the frustrations of not getting financial aid from the university I am headed to in the US of A despite repeated mails to professors for the same. So there is always an under-current of negativism in what follows:

Week 1: “Home, Sweet Home”!!! After four years of sweat spent rather uselessly in the sweltering heat of the Chennai weather, I am finally back home without the need to go back to Chennai for any long period of time!! Yippee!! I can now sit peacefully and try for the financial aid now that I am home. About to meet the oldest of my buddies from school!!

Week 2: I have met almost all the friends I needed to and wanted to meet. Put attendance with almost all relatives as well. Damn the distance of my place from the rest of the city! Have to slog a lot to even meet any one of my friends. So am staying home quite a bit. Damn boring this place is turning out to be! Nothing yet on the aid thing – sad! I miss the campus a lot!! At least something or the other can be done there always. I have to sit twiddling my thumbs here!

Week 3: Finally something happening on the aid front! One professor says he would consider hiring me for an assistantship from 2005. Let’s see how well that goes. Still trying with other professors. Getting used to doing nothing at home. Not bad after all, I guess. Sleeping a lot nowadays. Finally met some new people in Hyderabad, something that almost never happens with me during the brief holidays I come around for. Life’s bad here, but not totally unbearable, I should say.

Week 4 going on now, and I am presently on a neutral gear, having passed from optimism to pessimism and going on to the usual almost-cynical stand to life I seem to have developed at IIT Madras. Hope I kick it soon...

Back with a whimper...

2004-06-06T15:10:00.000-04:00

Long long time… I remember somebody telling me that when one has to prioritize, one cuts down on blogging. I have to agree – I have been awfully busy for the past one month or so that I have not been able to post anything here. I realized the ill effects of not doing required work at the required time: my project could have been done very peacefully had I done it through the semester, but me being me, I had to had to keep putting it off until the very last moment and then do a sloppy job of it. I think I finally passed simply ‘coz my guide didn’t want to have anymore to do with me. I put a grade that I wouldn’t want to reveal here, for fear that someone in my family might come across these pages – I wouldn’t want to let them know of it as yet. Anyway, all I can say about my last semester in IIT Madras is that I am really really glad that it is over!!

I am typing this post offline now – something I haven’t done yet. So I am not sure if I told you people that I apparently screwed up my GD/PI at the IIMs – I didn’t get through to even one. I am sorry if I appear to be cribbing a lot in this post, but I can’t help it now. It’s really been a f*^$ed up semester. It started with the theft of my cell phone and ended with the loss of my camera. In between I have seen new lows that I never thought I would encounter in IIT Madras. I saw my first E grade (not in my project), put a 6-point GPA for the first time and had the most disappointing and unsatisfactory academic experience of all the eight semesters I have been here… oops, I mean, there in IIT Madras. I guess I still haven’t got used to the fact that I have come home for good from that place. All this makes me feel grateful that I am done with that place.

But once back home, one gets hit by nostalgia. I miss the damn place so much. As it is, I don’t have much to do here in Hyderabad and so am shit pained to death with boredom. I really miss the hostel zone and the Senthil shop of Taramani. Anyone who lived in IIT-M would know what I mean about the Senthil shop, but that is beside the point now. I just look back upon the last four years and see how much I have changed and all that shit. I am sure that I would have been much the worse for it had I been anywhere else. Call me sentimental, or whatever you want to, but I tell you, there’s no place like IIT Madras to spend your under-graduate days in. I guess that’s enough of senti for one post. I will catch you all later with what’s happening in Hyderabad… This time, I promise to be more regular in my rantings… I know, I know, I am making this promise for the n’th time!!

2004-05-02T02:08:00.000-04:00

I am just out of my (hopefully) last exam in IIT. Only my Project Viva and I will be free from this place!!!!!

Music and Maths... Notes and Numbers...

2004-04-05T16:53:00.000-04:00

The following is an excerpt from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency by Douglas Adams. It was sent to me by a friend who is also an ardent Douglas Adams fan. Really nice piece. By the way, I am going to Bangalore for my IIM interviews - those of Ahmedabad and Calcutta. Please do pray for me... I promise to give as complete a transcript as my memory will allow me to immediately after coming back... Till then, read this and do let me know what you think of it...

Mathematical analysis and computer modeling are revealing to us that the shapes and processes we encounter in nature - the way that plants grow, the way that mountains erode or rivers flow, the way that snowflakes or islands achieve their shapes, the way that light plays on a surface, the way the milk folds and spins into your coffee as you stir it, the way that laughter sweeps through a crowd of people - all these things in their seemingly magical complexity can be described by the interaction of mathematical processes that are, if anything, even more magical in their simplicity. Shapes that we think of as random are in fact the products of complex shifting webs of numbers obeying simple rules. The very word ‘natural’ that we have often taken to mean ‘unstructured’ in fact describes shapes and processes that appear so unfathomably complex that we cannot consciously perceive the simple natural laws at work. They can all be described by numbers.

We know, however, that the mind is capable of understanding these matters in all their complexity and in all their simplicity. A ball flying through the air is responding to the force and direction with which it was thrown, the action of gravity, the friction of the air which it must expend its energy on overcoming, the turbulence of the air around its surface, and the rate and direction of the ball’s spin. And yet, someone who might have difficulty consciously trying to work out what 3 x 4 x 5 comes to would have no trouble in doing differential calculus and a whole host of related calculations so astoundingly fast that they can actually catch a flying ball. People who call this ‘instinct’ are merely giving the phenomenon a name, not explaining anything. I think that the closest that human beings come to expressing our understanding of these natural complexities is in music. It is the most abstract of the arts - it has no meaning or purpose other than to be itself. Every single aspect of a piece of music can be represented by numbers. From the organization of movements in a whole symphony, down through the patterns of pitch and rhythm that make up the melodies and harmonies, the dynamics that shape the performance, all the way down to the timbres of the notes themselves, their harmonics, the way they change over time, in short, all the elements of a noise that distinguish between the sound of one person piping on a piccolo and another one thumping a drum - all of these things can be expressed by patterns and hierarchies of numbers. And in my experience the more internal relationships there are between the patterns of numbers at different levels of the hierarchy, however complex and subtle those relationships may be, the more satisfying and, well, whole, the music will seem to be. In fact the more subtle and complex those relationships, and the further they are beyond the grasp of the conscious mind, the more the instinctive part of your mind - by which I mean that part of your mind that can do differential calculus so astoundingly fast that it will put your hand in the right place to catch a flying ball - the more that part of your brain revels in it. Music of any complexity (and even ‘Three Blind Mice’ is complex in its way by the time someone has actually performed it on an instrument with its own individual timbre and articulation) passes beyond your conscious mind into the arms of your own private mathematical genius who dwells in your unconscious responding to all the inner complexities and relationships and proportions that we think we know nothing about.

Some people object to such a view of music, saying that if you reduce music to mathematics, where does the emotion come into it? I would say that it’s never been out of it. The things by which our emotions can be moved - the shape of a flower or a Grecian urn, the way a baby grows, the way the wind brushes across your face, the way clouds move, their shapes, the way light dances on the water, or daffodils flutter in the breeze, the way in which the person you love moves their head, the way their hair follows that movement, the curve described by the dying fall of the last chord of a piece of music - all these things can be described by the complex flow of numbers. That’s not a reduction of it, that’s the beauty of it.

Ask Newton. Ask Einstein. Ask the poet (Keats) who said that what the imagination seizes as beauty must be truth. He might also have said that what the hand seizes as a ball must be truth, but he didn’t, because he was a poet and preferred loafing about under trees with a bottle of laudanum and a notebook to playing cricket, but it would have been equally true.

Because that is at the heart of the relationship between on the one hand our ‘instinctive’ understanding of shape, form, movement, light, and on the other hand our emotional responses to them. And that is why I believe that there must be a form of music inherent in nature, in natural objects, in the patterns of natural processes. A music that would be as deeply satisfying as any naturally occurring beauty - and our own deepest emotions are, after all, a form of naturally occurring beauty...

Esterilman Experience 2

2004-03-25T12:19:00.000-05:00

Before I tell you about the experiences of the Esterilman voyagers on Earth, I will be failing in my duty as the chronicler of this event if I were not to tell you at this juncture the composition of the group. The crew consisted of the Captain of the ship, Captain Zemobius; the pilot/navigator, Histarel "Hit" Maxter; the communications expert, Xanth Maxter (yes, they are brothers!); the security incharge, Major Kantzon; the medico, Elswane Vold; and the "hardware" guy who looked after the general upkeep of the ship's various mechanisms - Jandrez Migaston. In addition to the crew, there were also: a representative of what can best be translated as the Federal Government of Esterilma - Councillor Dravond, a Secretary in the Central Governing Council, and his secretary, Mirdy (it is surprising how young secretaries all around the universe are addressed only by their first names with no mention of their last names); Dreston Gombolin, an affluent businessman in Esterilma; and Samlena Corotis, an anthropologost specialising in the leading emergant races of the universe. For those of you who are wondering as to how the Esterilmans planned to communicate with Earthlings, they had what can best be described as the two-way equivalent of the Babel Fish, made popular on Earth by that magnum-opus, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". So the problem of communication or rather the lack of it was not a significant issue for the Esterilmans.

While they were still crossing the Rings of Saturn, the Esterilmans analysed the atmosphere of the Earth and, with wrinkled noses, had their first inkling that all was not well with the Earth. As they got closer, they surveyed the demographic distribution on the surface of the planet to decide which would be the best place to start their trade negotiations. Understandably, they decided to make their landing at the Big Apple - New York City - that great amalgam of Wall Street Big Money and the mugger-infested 'backlands' of the Bronx. Given the sensitivity of their tissues, long used to pure air, they found the ambience stifling, to say the least. But while they were still preparing to land, events were underfoot to prepare for their 'reception'. The US Army was on top-emergency alert, while the various intelligence networks of the world were swapping allegations at first and information later in a frenzy. Inspite of all this, surprisingly when the landing did take place, it was the media that got there first, pipping all the enforcement agencies. This came about again by sheer coincidence - something I think has become all-too-familiar by now to the readers. The landing took place near the regional office of a well-known round-the-clock news station. Now, you may well imagine the kind of media circus that such an event as the landing of an inter-galactic spaceship can create...

Esterilman Experience 1

2004-03-22T11:59:00.000-05:00

On this day, the Twenty-second of March in the year of our Lord, Two Thousand and Four, I set down to recount the fantastic and tragic experiences of the crew and passengers of the spaceship Glutamoda of the planet Esterilma, third from the star Zeta Oblangata, which is tucked away in the not-so-far recesses of the western sky as seen from our own planet. It must be pure coincidence, as is often witnessed in the hyper-drive enabled modern space travel of today (albeit not in our planet), that the far-flung planet of Esterilma and our own Earth share quite a few similarities. As you must understandably have noticed, it is the third planet from its sun, which as anyone knows is a medium-sized star - similar to our own Sun. There is water on Esterilma and a weather and an atmosphere almost similar to those of Earth. Of course, the air is purer for the breath, with the Esterilmans having developed purer modes of transport and energy usage long ago. On the whole, you can say that Esterilma is a lot better than Earth, by Earth's standards.

Coming back to the intrepid bunch of space travellers of the Glutamoda, it is of interest, to those who are interested in such things, to know what made this merry group to stumble upon Earth. Thousands of years ago, the Esterilmans developed unmanned space probes that can travel at a speed of about a million times that of light. One of these probes stumbled on Earth around 2500 years ago, when the Egyptians were busy building those glorified tombs of egotistic Pharaohs which we call the Pyramids, the most glorious examples of which stand at Giza. After taking some friendly sight-seeing photographs, these probes went back to their land. The Esterilmans had realised by then the power of the living mind and bvelieved in condensing this power and using it. Curiously - yet again the Coincidence - they used pyramidal structures for this purpose. Hence, they thought that the Earthlings are going to reach the same level of technology as them, in the near future. Giving ample time for the Earthlings to develop to their level, taking into consideration the pace of development of science on their planet, they finally sent a group of young Esterilmans to visit Earth and convey their desire for a healthy trading relationship. I hope to have satisfied the curiosity of those inclined to nitpick at the details of how the inter-galactic travellers came to find themselves on Earth. Back to the story of these adventurers...

To be continued...

Completely Absurd Thoughts

2004-02-16T09:57:00.001-05:00

Prologue: What follows actually started as a mail I wanted to send to my class group from school. I don't really know what happened in the middle, but I realised that this is as good a material for a post as any other; so I am just posting this. As one may quite naturally expect, this is not how my schoolmates read it...I added the required punctuation, and removed the personal references to my friends. (standard disclaimer ;-P). End of Prologue

Well, the "toughest CAT in ten years" is finally over....about the part in the quotes, that's what I heard was said in the newspapers today. Well, I don't know how tough it really was this year in comparision to the previous years, but all I can say is that I found it to be tough - at least slightly tougher than the last time I wrote it in November. It might as well be due to the fact that I haven't done any-, repeat any-thing this time when compared to last time, when I at least did some 4-5 Mock-CAT papers. So, I would rather assign the cause of my finding the paper tough to my not preparing well, than to the paper being set that way by the powers-that-be in the CAT Committee.

I know that most of you must have been irritated by now by my rambling on the toughness of the paper when I could have just gotten (is that a legit word?) to the point and just told you people how I did in the test. I seem to have done well, going by what has been doing the rounds here as to junta's scores in IIT-M at least. I seem to have scored 66 marks from 81 attempts, following the TIME pattern of scoring; it remains to be seen whether the IIMs also follow the same pattern while they evaluate the papers or not.....

Now, the apparantly high score I scored has started a wave of ribbing aimed at me in my hostel: people calling me "God" and what not. I agree that all this must be good to a man's ego, but when you know that not one of all those who say this means it when he says it, the knowledge rather takes the high out of these 'compliments'. Anyway, I am prepared now to accept all the same kind of 'appreciation' from u, dear readers - my friends - as I am sure that most of you mean it when you guys call me a 'God'. So, people, keep all those compliments coming. From my side, I promise you all that I will keep this flow of hopefully-interesting-to-read posts going on and on until I die of boredom....or from any other supra-natural causes resulting from any one of my harassed readers......till then....keep reading......

Epilogue: After having gone through the post for proof-reading before publishing, I noticed a similarity in this post and the one in which I told you of my admission into the Ohio State University: I am shamelessly asking you all to congratulate me on some measly thing I did, something I am sure anyone of you could have done before me. This brings on a philosophical thought process onto me. I shall, however refrain from adding anymore to this post; you can expect some philosophizing from me sometime later maybe. For now, I am the attention-hungry child.....:-P

Back into the Wilderness....

2004-02-14T05:01:00.000-05:00

Ever wondered why people say that 'so-and-so' is back into such-and-such field from the wilderness? Always makes me wonder...I mean, what is the significance of this wilderness? Convention says (or so I expect it to say) that this wilderness is some place where you are lost to others in the world, accessible only to yourself, with no one bothering you. So, is this place really worth being called the wilderness? A place where you are by yourself, able to contemplate and introspect, leading a simple life, away from all (at least most) of the worries that form that shoulder-stooping burden you are, well, burdened with - can you call it the wilderness? So, I guess the phrase should be 'so-and-so' is returning to the wilderness of such-and-such field.

Take the 'real' world, the world 'out there'. Is it really so safe compared to the literal wilderness, with all its wild beasts? I hardly think so. We have more than our share of the wolves and foxes waiting to just pounce upon us at the first available opportunity. I find too much cynicism here in the world and hence more of a lost feeling than when I am with myself, doing nothing - not even thinking. Maybe I am also cynical - well, cut out that "maybe", I am cynical - but, what is it that makes so many of us 'watch out for ourselves'? Beats me......

If you are wondering where this is going, dear reader, I can't help you because I don't know the answer myself. The actual reason I started writing all this bullshit above was 'coz I was coming back to blogging after a long break and was thinking of an appropriate title for this post and hit on what you see at the top - that just got me rolling and since I am stuck here, I shall stop for now. Anyway, I am happy to tell you all that I got an admit into the PhD program in Mechanical Engineering at the Ohio State University. I am pleasantly surprised myself, and of course, I accept all the congratulations that may come my way now - perhaps that is what people call wishful thinking. I can't imagine myself doing all that work needed for a PhD, but maybe I can manage it. But I am sure that I can't ever get used to having a "Dr." before my name.

Well, not much time to blog now, got my CAT tomorrow, and I haven't yet seen anyone with as pathetic a preparation as mine. So I got to get my ass off from in front of the computer and head to some temples and try to get the Big One on my side before it is to late. See ya all folks.......

2004-02-02T12:11:00.000-05:00

Well, I am back in Hyderabad, for some R&R after Saarang, which I am proud to say has finally become the biggest and the best student-organized culfest in India. Anyway, I actually typed out a longish post yesterday about Saarang, but something happened which Mr. Gates would not want to acknowledge much - my Windows crashed, and the post is lost forever. Since I am in no mood to even try to reproduce the lost post, I will just stop at saying that I had a ball at Saarang.

I must mention here about the Unity Concert we had on Republic Day where the Pakistani band, Strings performed on the same stage as Euphoria. That was an awesome show, and it more than made up for the rather disappointing shows we had on the previous nights. Anyway, as happens so often in life, I just had the feeling of deja vu over the weekend.

A friend of mine from school is now in IIIT Hyderabad and it so happened that they had their fest "Felicity" this past weekend. I must say that after Saarang, it felt like kids' shows do after watching Survivor (or something like that on AXN), but I must also say that for a fest that is only three years old, Felicity is good; better than some other fests I know, and wouldn't name. Well, enough beating around the bush (wonder who coined that phrase and what exactly he/she meant then), let me get to the deja vu. Strings performed at Felicity on Saturday, the 31st of January. Unfortunately, the sound system was bad and the acoustics of the arena didn't help at all. So the show proved to be a dampener to me.....anyways, the rather modest crowd of about 900 did enjoy itself at the show. But, I guess being probably the only guy to have watched both the shows was what spoiled the experience for me at Hyderabad - I mean, we had close to 9000 people at Saarang, and the reduction by a whole order in the magnitude of the crowd was the first thing that struck me. Then the poor quality of the sound system was also a big factor I guess.

Anyway, I was talking to the lead singer, Faisal, of Strings after the Hyderabad show, and he himself said that he would rate it at 3 on a 10 point scale if he were to take the Chennai show as 10, which in other words meant "good show". Now, I don't know if anyone from IIIT Hyderabad would read this and take offence - maybe any others can take offence at me being so boastful of Saarang - well, all I can say is that we are all proud of Saarang, and whatever I said above is in no way to degrade the efforts put in by others for their fests; just that fests in Hyderabad at least have a long way to go before anybody can claim to having at least a decent level fest to boast of - personal opinion, and I don't care if I come out as feeling to be a superior being.

Anyway, I must mention here something that was in my previous post - the one which was sacrificed at the altar of Windows. The band Strings made a statement that I think must be given due consideration by the powers-that-be. They said that along with cultural exchanges India and Pakistan should also have student exchanges so that students in Pakistan can avail the higher standards of education in India, as well as to provide an insght into the life of people across the border. I think that it would indeed help ease a lot of tensions if people on either sides have more interaction on a person-to-person basis than just these shows by artists.

And, before I close for the night, I promise to return to the world of blogging once I am back in Chennai....in campus....free Net.....*sigh*.......well, I have a lot of catching up to do on others' blogs.......

2004-01-23T14:03:00.000-05:00

The ticker shows my page slowly approaching the 1000 mark.....keep coming guys/gals (politically correct statement). Am too pooped to write anything now.....busy with Saarang....will write after it is over.....once again...keep coming people!

2004-01-15T04:19:00.000-05:00

It was my birthday yesterday...I turned 21! Almost all those who called/mailed asked me how it felt to be 21...a momentous occasion as one of my cousins put it! I don't know. Is it really a momentous occasion? OK, I get all the attention in the world and all that. But, it just felt like another year gone by, another year wasted in this short life that we have....anyway, leaving all this down talk aside, I did have a good time yesterday. I did almost nothing, after a long time....just took the day off....hung out with friends...just that and nothing. On the whole, I should say that yesterday was good.

Well, I must say that life is full of bizarre coincidences. A third year guy from my hostel, in fact his room is right beside mine, also had his birthday yesterday...we were born on the same day, same year...guess life has its own way of throwing surprises your way, doesn't it?

Well, I would like to take this opportunity to invite all of you, formally, to the culfest of our college, Saarang. I hope that all those in Chennai do come and make the fest a grand and thumping success. There are events lined up to meet every taste, at least all that we could think of. Even those in other parts of India, do please try to come....we have sent out invites to lots of colleges all over India, and this time, we are going to be the biggest student-organized culfest in India - not an idle boast! Anyway, I guess I will just sign off now...

2004-01-13T02:31:00.000-05:00

I was just clearing my inbox, another of those highly irregular maintainance works I take up when utterly jobless. Weel, I came across this poem sent through one of those long chain mail series. Anyway, it is good...so am putting it up here....

SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,"hi"

You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.

Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

Life, The Universe & Everything....

2004-01-10T14:02:00.000-05:00

That is the third of that wholly magnificient series of books which have been made really famous by Douglas Adams The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The Trilogy in Four Parts, in the words of Mr. Adams, is what is keeping me busy these days. Anyway, it sure is a pleasure to read some really good stuff that can make you laugh heartily as well as making you ponder on all the mindless things that happen in the world around us, and in the Galaxy around it and the Universe around that Galaxy around our world. Well...before I get more stupid, let me desist.

I have been thinking about what has been happening in my life in the past two months or so, and I did not find the picture anywhere near rosy. I have been doing nothing absolutely, and was so absolutely busy doing this nothing that I forgot the birthdays of a couple of my cousins, much to my, and of my cousins', displeasure. They told me exactly what they thought of my growing forgetfulness and self-absorbance. Well, can't really blame them, can I? That aside, the loss of my cell phone was what made me think of what has been happening to me. What finally happened in the end was that my Dad properly pained me about my growing carelessness, something I am used to by now. Finally, after a lot of senti-putting by yours truly, he finally agreed to send me a new cell and that is how it came to be that I am the rather not-so-proud owner of a new cell phone. Guess, all's well that ends well!

So, I think all I can say now is that it is a glorious new day and a not-too-bad new year for that. Reading other people's blogs and my own feelings combined severely discourage me from saying what follows, but as you must have noted in my previous post, I simply can't resist telling it like it is if I know that I can get away with it. So, the new year is like a new start, a wholly new year to do things better than I used to. But, from previous experience, I know that all that is a load of bullshit. And, for those who may be interested, I already broke my new year's resolution. So that goes down the drain as well....guess the year is goingg to turn out well after all!

PS: Suds told me about the Madras Bloggers' Meet on 18th January 2004, Sunday at 5 PM at Planet Yumm, Besant Nagar. Whoever is interested can come..please do make it. And I fervently hope it is not going to be a purely Tam event!

HAPPY (??) NEW YEAR!

2004-01-02T05:41:00.000-05:00

"Thank you" to everyone who wished me a happy new year. I am now not too sure that 2004 is going to be any good to me. It sure did not turn out to be prosperous as yet! Someone stole my cell phone yesterday - yes! right on the first day of the brand new year! It is a long story that I am in no mood to go over again. So, please, no questions about how it happened!

This incident makes me feel pathetic! More than that, I am now feeling apprehensive about what could happen in the 364 remaining days! I am not superstitious or anything, but 2003 hasn't exactly been good to me and now I am in a dilemma as to how to interpret this event. The optimist's line goes: "This is like the culmination, a Grand Finale if you will, of all that happened in 2003!" The realist's (read pessimist, since I seem to be one) line goes: "This is just the beginning of a new period, a new phase of suffering you are going to experience in 2004! The pain will be more than that in the last year, and this is just the beginning!"

Now that you can see the dilemma I am facing, I am sure you can appreciate the title of this post! Nonetheless, I am sure all of you will have a better year ahead than you did in 2003! Hope......*sigh*......Well, before I take leave, HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all!

2003-12-27T03:46:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine, Aswathi started her own blog - inspired by mine she says! Please do visit her blog. :)

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

2003-12-27T03:43:00.000-05:00

First of all, I am back in Chennai and am not doing much work, though, as usual, I got loads to do....hmm.....I must surely be giving an impression of being a very responsible guy with lots of work entrusted to me! I am not - just stating this for the record - I am just lazy to do things on time and now, I have too much to do. Anyway, that is not what this post is about....I have been watching many old episodes from FRIENDS right from Season 1 to Season 9!

It always fascinated me to watch the sitcom....I remember starting on it when I was in my Ninth or Tenth standard....and the first thing that I thought of was: "Gosh! This is so good!" I mean, you have this bunch of 20-somethings (when the sitcom started) living in the Big Apple (not that I knew that was what New York was called at that time). Each had his/her own shortcomings, their insecurities and their own "crises". We can all laugh about the funny situations they landed themselves in, but there is no denying the fact that we could be any one of them...OK, I don't think I can ever be Monica - too much of a cleanliness freak!

The best thing about all six of them is that they all are in a constant state of denial as to their problems, but still in a heaven/hell of their own , depending on the circumstances. A stage which I am sure all of us are extremely familiar with! Maybe that's what made the show the big hit it is! Unfortunately, the powers that be decided to end the show after the Tenth Season, but I am sure that whoever has seen FRIENDS will always keep some part of all the six people with them for a long time - not forever, because I don't believe in "forever". Anyway, I am gonna stop here 'coz I have to run to complete some of that work I mentioned at the beginning.

Just taking a poll - Who is your favourite FRIENDS character? Mine must be...hmmm...difficult isn't it?...hmm.....Chandler!

Two Days...Long Time....

2003-12-21T14:50:00.000-05:00

The past two days have been totally a mixed bag of emotions for me...after i posted my last post to now, I really did have a see-saw ride (is it a ride on a see-saw??) of emotions....can't say that its been a roller-coaster - not that extreme yet!

Friday Nite: Am reading this mail from a friend from hostel who is still at campus. He tells that a Third year guy drowned at the beach the previous day. Am sad....not that I know the chap, but...well...you know.....

Saturday: My best friend's birthday...he became a Legal Major (21 yrs old) yesterday! We had a ball...knowing that this maybe the last time all our school friends can meet up liesurely....had fun and am happy!

Sunday: Going to a friend's house...on my bike...some idiot swerves right into the middle of a main road from a small bylane - something you'd not even notice if you don't know its there - at full speed! I brake...skid...fall. Humpty-Dumpty had a great fall - only mine wasn't that great! Am shaken...(so tempted to say what follows...:D) Not Stirred! Bike also OK...just a lot of scratches and a crack in the plastic...but the idiot mentioned before doesn't bother to even look back! Hyderabadi roadies are getting more careless! :(

Well, I guess I am OK now...hmm....something I thought I'd put up here....a friend told me of a conversation he had with another friend about a "funny" poem he wrote. The other guy didn't get the punch-line! I am putting down an approximate transcript of what happened:

Poet: Hey man...I just wrote a "poem"...it's funny..just listen to it & tell me what you think....
Other Guy: OK...just don't pain me much though!
Poet: Its good man....here goes....
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I am a schizophrenic
So am I!
Other Guy: What was that, B%$^*#@&? You call it a poem? And, in what way was that funny??
Poet: MORON!!! F$#^&@! B&^%*#@$! You don't have even a decent sense of humour! (Walks off!)

Sai: I found the poem funny & the conversation funnier, the way my friend told me...starred out most of the last two dialogues myself! Also, deleted most of the usual friend-friend banter that bores the shit out of everyone except the two concerned! Did anyone else find the poem funny?

PS: I would mostly not be posting until after Christmas...so MERRY CHRISTMAS to all of you! Have a nice holiday....:)

Procrastination is the Thief of Time...

2003-12-18T14:08:00.000-05:00

So I was told very early in life, by my Science teacher way back when I was in Third standard. At that time, I was highly perplexed by what procrastination meant. She carefully explained the meaning to the class, and I was proud that a rather long word was added to my then (and now) limited vocabulary. Beyond this, I never bothered much about what the saying was saying, so to speak. As it turns out, I still am not bothered with the message even when I know the full meaning....

Why am I talking about such a mundane and commonplace thing as procrastination? The Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, my online look-up guide, gives the meaning as "to put off intentionally the doing of something which has to be done." This is precisely what I am doing now, in everything in life.

Much has been said about the hustle and bustle in IIT-M as regards the annual, ritual application process to the United States of America, by Suds. This process involves, among other things, getting recommendation letters from faculty, writing creatively-misleading SOPs & then the actual couriering (is there such a verb?) of the documents required to complete the application. Now, I know I have stated a wish to put up a self-reco here; I shall get back to that later. I have successfully obtained, after a lot of dilly-dallying, all the documents required from academic sources including the transcripts, reco-letters..even finished my SOP! But, now that I have all the components ready, I am halting at the assembly stage! Excuse the wording, but being a mechanical engineer doesn't help much!

I have been sitting on the "packets" as we call them for far too long. I just have to take the prints-out of some cover letters & I am just ready for sending my applications on their way. But, as usual, I am holding back until the absolute last moment! If I don't post the materials by tomorrow, I might just miss one or two of my deadlines. This tardiness was too much for my Dad to bear, and he launched into a longish discourse on the virtues of discipline, doing one's jobs on time, etc., etc....And it all boiled down to my sleeping at seemingly "odd" hours!! This, it seems is the root of all my problems! Now, can anyone tell me how to make this connection?

About the self-reco and the short story I promised (if anyone remembers, that is!), I was just too lazy to do much about them...

Inspite of all this, I still don't get what my teacher meant when she told a bunch of third class students about procrastination way back in 1990! Another thing I've done is put up a new Commenting server...so use HaloScan for the comments. Enetation sucks!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MOM & DAD!!

2003-12-16T13:23:00.000-05:00

Its been 23 years now...well...nuthin more to say on this. Babs has a lot to say about motherhood & being parents in general..so I suggest you read her blog. I am bad at writing senti stuff...

Anyways, I would have named this post "This, That and Something Else". That's because, I wanted to write about three things.

This: India has won a test in Australia, after a gap of 22 years....thanx to Dravid & Laxman. Being a Hyderabadi, and a proud one at that, I am really happy and excited about Laxman's performance. This match also proves that Dravid is the best & the most reliable match-winner we have on the cricket team. Sachin Fans, please excuse me. I would like it if India were to win this series, but then I also don't want Steve Waugh to retire with a series defeat...dilemmas in life.....*sigh*

That: Saddam has been captured. I have already mentioned this previously, but after reading Babs' post, I began thinking about how anti-climactical it all was in the end. I mean, I never expected to see Saddam in such a dishevelled state! And, they say that DNA tests have confirmed that it is Saddam indeed. Who conducts the tests? Who got the original samples? If someone could get DNA samples of Saddam from Baghdad, they could have killed him then itself, couldn't they? Well...too many things going through my head now. But I am wondering which country Uncle Sam will be targeting now?

Something: Zenedine Zidane has been named the FIFA Footballer of the Year 2003. I am really happy for the midfield magician. But, being the Arsenal fan that I am, I would have loved it if Thierry Henry won it! But then, I guess the consolation is that most national team coaches feel that Henry is better than Ronaldo...

Else: This was not to be a separate section, but I just read a coupla nice one-liners...so I thought of putting them up....

There are 10 types of people in this world - those who understand binary, and those who don't!

If a mosquito bit you 8 times, did it Byte you?

PS: It turned out that I wrote about four things...the li'l surprises in life....:P I am working on the story and the self-reco..so watch this space....and, please....any suggestions for a new comments server?

2003-12-14T13:43:00.000-05:00

Interesting story...obviously a forward...

On March 23, 1994 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr Opus had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide. He left a note to the effect indicating his despondency. As he fell past the ninth floor his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.

"Ordinarily," Dr Mills continued, "A person who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended, is still defined as committing suicide." The fact that Mr Opus was shot on the way to certain death, but probably would not have been successful because of the safety net, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands. The room on the ninth floor, where the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window striking Mr Opus. When one intends to kill subject "A" but kills subject "B" in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject "B." When confronted with the murder charge the old man and his wife were both adamant and both said that they thought the shotgun was unloaded. The old man said it was a long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her.

Therefore the killing of Mr Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, if the gun had been accidentally loaded. The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother. Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the murder even though he didn't actually pull the trigger. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.

Now comes the exquisite twist. Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window. The son had actually murdered himself, so the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.

(A true story from Associated Press, Reported by Kurt Westervelt)

PS: Saddam Hussein has been captured finally. I am strongly of the view that the war on Iraq was highly unjustified until now. At least now, Uncle Sam has been able to catch one of their "Most-Wanted" people and the world is rid of a dictator. But I hope the US forces won't leave Iraq now..they need to rebuild it...well...just felt like writing this...

PPS: I am at home and as promised, I was about to put up something better than just a forward. But this was nice and I put it up...was reading a lot of short stories lately and am thinking of puttin up one in my next post..but its still hazy in my brain..so I'd be needing some time. In the meantime, taking Suds' lead, I am going to put up something related to the 'app-scene' (applying to MS in the US) at IIT Madras....mostly a self-reco....& where are the comments? I am planning to change my comments server....any suggestions???

Google Bombs...

2003-12-09T14:11:00.000-05:00

I read an interesting piece in The Hindu about something called Google bombs.

Try searching for the keywords "miserable failure" on Google and the first result you see is President Bush's official biography from the White House!! This is despite the fact that those two words are not in the biography at all! Such results where the keywords bear no direct relation to the website in question are called Google Bombs. This particular bomb was started by a fellow blogger, George Johnston who first linked the bio in his blog to the words. He then asked others to join him in the bombing and, not surprisingly, some have indeed done so.

Google bombing occurs because of the way Google tracks web pages and asociates them to key words. If enough Web pages link a certain Web page to a phrase, the Google search engine will start to associate that page with the phrase - even if, as in the case of Bush's official biography, the phrase does not occur on the destination Web site. And it doesn't even take large numbers to pull off this prank - in Bush's case, of more than 800 pages that linked to Bush's official bio, only 32 actually linked it to the words!

I guess enough gyaan for now. It is amazing in how many ways the World Wide Web can be used. From the days of bloody revolutions to peaceful protests, we in the Computer Age keep evolving a really peaceful, legitimate and completely democratic forms of protest at the same time evoking some laughs. I am going to link the words to the site myself...three cheers to Google!!

PS: I thank The Hindu, The New York Times, BBC News for the inputs I got about Google Bombing and also the names and figures quoted above.

Words of the Day: Miserable Failure....:D

2003-12-08T11:00:00.000-05:00

I hadn't planned to post anything today when I came online. I just thought that I'd catch up on all the other bloggers' works. I must say that it has been quite a handful, rather eye-ful, if I may. It is good to be back reading some really good stuff, something which I feel I am not able to or maybe just not inclined to do right now. It is always interesting to read all the various topics that all of us write about, but it rather hits you in the face if you read all this after a loooong time.....I have read about sick humour, letting go, cousins and love, funny quotes, happy days, unanswered dilemmas on love, family ties, and what not! I must and will write something soon...I know that I have been saying that for a month now, and I frankly am not too sure who, if any, is still visiting my blog - Sitemeter assures me that some are still dropping by sometimes. I am just tied down with a lot of stuff to do before I go home. That's this weekend, and I shall surel post something nice as soon as I reach home. So, if anyone visits this site before Saturday, please visit again by Sunday morning...this time, I am sure not to disappoint you.

Word of the Day: Bathetic - extremely commonplace or trite; characterized by insincere or overdone pathos : excessively sentimental.

Back from the (almost) Dead...

2003-12-06T09:03:00.000-05:00

Well, at last all my exams are over! Actually they were over by Tuesday, but I was stuck up in some other work which made it almost impossible for me to write anything. Not that I am putting anything much now; just posting to remind people that I am still alive and kicking.

I don't know how my exams went off, but I am sure that I am passing in all my courses. And then, there was the CAT paper. I still don't know what to feel about the paper getting leaked. Initially I thought that it was better for me since I did not think I cleared the cut-offs. BUt, as it turns out, it seems that I barely scraped through and I am now very pained at the fact that I have to sit through the test once again. Well, all I can do is pray that I do better this time round...

Anyway, I gotta run now...am going to keep updating as soon as possible...

Past postings......

2003-11-15T01:10:00.000-05:00

This was written in a class, on Thursday, 13th Nov at 5 pm. Since I don't want to edit and change what I wrote, I am just reproducing what I wrote exactly. The quality is not good..obviously; this was written in a class. Here goes:

I am in class sitting in the last bench, as usual.Unfortunately, the Prof doesn't know where to stand and he has a damningly clear view of me, as I do of him. So, instead of the usual nap I take in this class, I am forced to pretend taking down notes. Hence this article on my views of this class. A rarity I must agree - me having any view of any class apart from "Boring!"

Actually, this class is not much different from the other classes I used to wake through before I realized that there is precious little I can assimilate by staying awake. This class is on "Trends in Manufacturing", supposed to update us on the latest in production processes. I am left wondering - where India seems to have specialized considerably in reproduction, others are still stuck up on production.

The topic of the day is Rapid Prototyping and the first thing I am reminded of - given that reproduction came up in my mind earlier - is the film Sixth Day where we see human bodies being produced and memories being induced into them.

Talking about memories being induced, and also since I am really bored talking about my class, let me go on to Matrix Revoltuions. I saw the movie only this week; I agree I am late, but "better late than never". The movie is disappointing, to say the least, for those of us who belong to what the media calls the "Matrix Cult". I don't know what went wrong with the imagination of the Brothers Wachowsky, but they simply could not live upto the Matrix in either Reloaded or Revolutions. The special effects are all wonderful, but characters simply lost their touch. Neo is just a confused wanderer, Trinity has nothing to do except "love Neo", Morpheus is like a morose prophet and the Oracle in her "new shell". Only Agent Smith survives unscathed...er, I mean the characterization. I guess it is only Hugo Weaving, who played Agent Smith excellently, who got any real gain from the trilogy. But I must say that I don't think we could have gotten a better epic for our times than Matrix.

Back to present: I typed this out so late since I had an exam today..just finished writing it...and am really pleasantly surprised that I did reasonably well, a thing that I don't remember in recent times.

2003-11-12T13:28:00.000-05:00

The first time I am posting an image. Thanks to Suds for telling me how. Anyway, for now, my life seems really complicated. All in all, I have to agree with Garfield than with John. But for now, I am with John.

That aside, we did a skit in our French class today. Suds, me and a couple other friends teamed up to do our variant of "Kaun Banega Crorepati", with no intention of even coming anywhere close to the original show. Ours was modelled after the GREAT MAN, Rajinikant and we christened our show "Kaun Banega Dalapati" after one his earlier movies. Suds played Rajini to almost perfection. Anyway, the skit was prepared with no involvement from my side - the only contribution I made was I got the script printed about 15 minutes before the class started and we practised in the class till our turn at the stage came. I must say that the skit was not so bad, considering that two of us saw our lines for the first time only after the print-out was with us. Anyways, I think Suds might have more things to say about the script than me.....he was one of the scriptwriters!

Another Milestone

2003-11-07T12:36:00.000-05:00

I don't know who the 500th visitor to my blog was, but accept my personal thanks. I would also like to thank all those who have contributed to the count. It took me one and a half month to reach the 100 mark, and now it took about three months to reach the 500 mark. I should think that the readership of my blog has increased, but recent statistics from Sitemeter shows a decline in the visitor rate. I know that I haven't been writing as well to make people come back oftener; all I can say is that that is going to change soon.

Anyway, I had a series of tests and have more to come soon. My endsemester exams start in a week from now. So, I don't think that I can write much in some time. But, I promise interesting posts in December. But I must say that I might have some things to say in the meantime also.......

2003-11-03T06:14:00.000-05:00

I am not getting any time to rest at all. Not that I am doing many things, its more like I am still in the process of trying to do many things. Everyday leaves me feeling tired both physically and mentally. I am now sorry for not doing many of the things I should have done long ago. But, no use crying over spilt milk. Oww...cliches..am not even able to think properly nowadays.

I'll sign off with a poem written by my friend; its nice....better than my earlier attempts:

Rain it raineth
On the Just
As well as on the Unjust fella
But more on the Just
'Coz the Unjust had an umbrella

Word of the Day: SOLIPSISM: A theory that the self can know nothing but its own modifications and that the self is the only existent thing.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AKKA!!

2003-10-28T14:30:00.000-05:00

Akka is Telugu for elder sister. My sister is a close friend and my most trusted confidante. We have had our share of petty fights, the all too familiar I-hate-you sessions. But, I simply can't imagine how I would have managed without her. I don't know the truth in what people say about one's relatives being 'thrust' upon one, but I certeinly wouldn't have chosen anyone else had I had a choice........anyways, since I am bad at putting all this senti stuff into words & since my sis knows all this anyways...I sign off by wishing my sis once again, a happy birthday....

2003-10-26T13:09:00.000-05:00

Hope all of you had a nice Diwali. Mine was relatively quiet. I went home (yes, again) but there wasn't much due to some bereavement in the family earlier in the year. But, the surprising thing was that I did not miss anyting about the festival....least of all the crackers. The sweets were there, I did go meet some of my relatives, but on the whole, I was home - almost a rarity when I come down to Hyderabad nowadays.

Till last year, I looked forward to bursting some crackers and all that, but last year itself, I felt it to be more like a formality than a fun activity. Maybe that's because last year was the first time that my sister wasn't home: she got married last year & is now happily living in the US of A. Maybe it was the absence of my sister or something else, I surely seem to have lost the anticipation I had for the festival. Well, why am I ranting on about this rather depressing thing in the middle of the festival season?

I am sorry that I haven't been able to visit other people's blogs for sometime now. Even when I read some of the posts, I was too much in a hurry to post a comment....all I can say is that I was busy...I am going to start reading all the other blogs & comment on them regularly soon...jus give me some time..

2003-10-22T04:19:00.000-04:00

I got this SMS from a friend of mine. Thought you might enjoy it:

Exams are like Girlfriends -
1. Too many questions.
2. Dificult to understand.
3. More expalanations always needed.
4. Result is always not upto the mark!

Purposeless Statements....

2003-10-19T03:22:00.000-04:00

I have been trying to get some work done about applying to universities in the US, what we in IITM call 'apping'. Now, me being the most disinterested guy in academics, it would, I think come as a surprise to many that I am applying for MS+PhD in all the universities. Before anyone thinks that I am a changed man, I would like to tell you that, with my CGPA, the only hope I have of getting into any good university is this option, since all the toppers anyway go for the plain MS option.

Now, as everyone knows, one needs to write a Statement Of Purpose (SOP) outlining why one wants to go for graduate education in that particular field, in that particular university. My situation is this: I gave JEE because that was what was expected of toppers in school, more so in Hyderabad, where I come from. I did not take Mechanical engg. - I was given it based on my rank. After coming to IIT, I realised that the best education was the one you don't get in classrooms - in other words, I just didn't bother about my academics. This means that I obviously did not develop any interest in any field of mechanical engg. So, what do I write about what field I am interested in, and why? I can't clearly write the truth.

Regarding the university choice, I am applying to top universities in my field, without much hope of getting through. So, I guess I need not write much falsehood there as to why I chose the univ. But, as a senior suggested, the SOP should also contain what I can give the univ and what I expect from the univ. Now, what can I give the univ. except the honour of my being there, as I am gracing IITM now? What I expect from the univ, I am clear about: full tuition waiver, full living aid, and any other assistantship/fellowship. Am I greedy or is it normal to think this way? Naturally, I am not able to even start on my SOP, and the idea here is to first get the SOP ready and then go on to other app-work. Anyways, I hope that no one from any admissions committee of any univ I am applying to reads this.....

Test Trivia...

2003-10-15T06:16:00.000-04:00

I am done with that exam on Tuesday, during which the Prof enters and tells us that there will be a test in another course he is taking on Thursday, and as fate would have it, I am doing it. So, that's another test tomorrow.

The test we had yesterday was in a 'self-study' course. IIT M seems to have come up with a unique (is it?) idea to ensure, hopefully, that we might really learn at least one subject; that's what this self-study course is suposed to achieve. Unfortunately, the lethargy for which we are not yet famous (judging by the way people give me unbelieving stares when I say that I don't study till before the exams), makes the whole exercise pointless.

For those of you who still did not get what a 'self-study' course means, it is a course wherein the Prof takes no classes, just gives the portion and reference books and simply conducts tests whenever he wants! So, we had this course on CNC Machining in the self-study variety. Some of the more serious members of the class bothered to find out the portion for the test and names of a couple of reference books. It turned out that these books were for ordinary NC machining and not Computerised NC machining. Since there were no classes, all of us were in total ignorance of what the Prof expects us to study and what kind of questions we can expect, a state which I am not unfamiliar with. I guess, for me, all courses are like this!

As usual, I start trying to mug up something at the very last minute, realising finally that I can't do it. So, I simply gave up, thinking that I can use common-sense (uncommonly used by yours truly) and extrapolate on what I know (very little of it anyways!) in the exam. The paper, when it came, turned out to be objective type with the emphasis being totally on CNC with no fundaes about NC. Well, as it turned out, everyone left the exam hall with those silly smiles we see on people who get so fucked up that they are amused by it all (sorry, if anyone's offended by the 4 letter word). I at least have the satisfaction that I didn't put all the fight that some of my friends have...we all screwed up almost to the same extent, almost!

Anyways, I think that this is enough of cribbing for one post....hey, I just realised, I haven't started cribbing yet! Ask Suds how painful I can get when I start cribbing...rather, don't ask him! By the way, I guess I put too many parenthetical observations in the post...happens when I actually read the post preview....

PS: Yet another hostel mate has started blogging....seems like this is contagious....please visit Ravi's blog.

PPS: Zonkboard's kicked us free riders off...so no tagboard. I don't want to add Tagboard.com's board unless I don't get anything better. So, wait a few days to get a board back.....

2003-10-10T07:17:00.000-04:00

I seem to be pretty jobless now. Shaastra is going on..am doing nothing there, not even gaming as Sudhon is! Anyways, seems like the reviews are really getting on people's nerves, me included. I will make an 'ordinary' post asap....maybe after Tuesday, 'coz it seems I got a test that day, and no one in the class knows either the portion or the reference books. I must warn you all beforehand, it might be a bit introspective...reflective rather! And then again, it may just be me cribbing about exams in general after Tuesday....so all I can say is: Watch this Space! (Damn! I am bad at this, ain't I?)

LXG

2003-10-08T05:36:00.000-04:00

I watched The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen yesterday. And, since I promised a friend that I'd write about it here, I am putting up another review....do I hear a collective groan or mild approval?? Well, whatever be the response, I guess I have to go on to keep my word.

LXG is inspired from a comic series by the same name. It tells the story of a band of really extraordinary people who are called in to help the British Empire and the world from a possible World War at the end of the 19th Century. Well-known characters from classic fiction form the band, which I think would have been called LX People in these days of politically correct titles such as chairperson, etc., the reason being there is a female in the group.

The movie sticks fairly to the lines of the comic, or so I hear, since I haven't read the comic series. Alan Quatermain, from King Solomon's Mines is the leader of the group. The others include Captain Nemo (20,000 Leagues Under the Sea ), Rodney Skinner (based on the original The Invisible Man ), Wilhelmina Harker (Dracula ), Dorian Grey (The Picture of Dorian Grey ), Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde (novel by the same name) and, of all people, Tom Sawyer (The Adventures of Tom Sawyer ). These are all selected by a mysterious M...reminded me of James Bond before I knew about the comic series. The movie differs from the sources, from what I have been able to gather in a short time, in the following ways:

1) M is believed to be Mycroft Holmes, Sherlock's elder brother, in the comic series. In the movie, it turns out to be James Moriarty, Sherlock's archenemy and "The Napoleon of Crime" in Sherlock Holmes' words.
2) The comic series had the original Invisible Man from Victor Hugo's novel while the movie has Rodney Skinner, a 'gentleman thief' who steals the invisbility serum, without realising that there is no antiserum yet.
3) Dorian Grey is safe as long as his picture is safe in the original book by Oscar Wilde, but in the movie, he dies if he sets eyes on the picture.
4) Captain Nemo is depicted as a Sikh in both the comic series and the movie as against the novel, apparantly reverting to the original intention of Jules Verne.

On the whole, the movie was good, though it does stretch one's imagination quite a bit. Some of the graphics are good enough and the narrative is not too good. The actors put up a good performance. Sean Connery is his usual suave self, a hunter, explorer and a leader. Naseeruddin Shah as Captain Nemo has to put up a stiff demeanour, and I think has been wasted. He does manage to put some life into the highly stereotypical role. The ship, Nautilus, is shown as a sword, unlike the whale shape it assumes in the novel. Another interesting thing is the Shiv Ling shape at the head of the ship. The director has managed to get a Sikh to worhsip Goddess Kali, and there is also an idol of Ganesh in the ship; wonder when Hollywood film-makers get out of such stupid stereotyping! Peta Wilson is good as the vampire Mina Harker..as for the others, they are good enough, but don't attract attention except for the character of Grey in some places. I liked the scene where he replies, "I am complex" to a "What are you?" by someone who tries to kill him.

The League is gathered to fight a man who calls himself 'The Phantom', and who dreams of world leadership, first by starting an arms race between the leaders of the various empires. The idea seems far-fetched anyways. The revelation that M is none other than Moriarty, aka Phantom becomes evident when the mask falls off the Phantom's face, even before the face is revealed; there's no possibility of a new character that late into the movie. I know that some of you might feel that I gave away the plot, but there is no plot to be given away! So chill! It is not all that bad a movie, neither is it a good one. But, watch it on the big screen, if you do watch it; a DVD will just make the movie more painful than it really is.

All that I feel after seeing the movie is that I think I need to read Bram Stoker's Dracula, King Solomon's Mines, Picture of Dorian Grey. As for the books having other characters, I have read them and I don't think I can take all those classics again, not yet! Also, I wonder why Frankenstein was left out!

PS: Why is it that I always review not-too-good to downroght-bad movies?? Coincidence??

2003-10-04T14:34:00.000-04:00

Am at home...hmm..as they say, "Home Seet Home". I had a great time with my friends from school. Am sloshed now, so can't wite anything...going off to sleep now, before it's even midnight!! I am starting back for Chennai tomorrow afternoon; I guess I can write something once I am back on campus.

The Promised Review

2003-10-02T13:40:00.000-04:00

I don’t know if anyone is interested in reading these reviews, other than Riddhi, but I am going ahead with it anyways. I liked Erich Segal’s Acts of Faith and JRR Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings best of all till date.

Acts of Faith is one of the best love stories that I have read. This book describes the love between a Catholic priest-to-be and a Jewess, the daughter of a very prominent Rabbi. Erich Segal writes very well about human relationships and emotions. I feel that this is his best work. He not only delves into the feelings that the protagonists develop for each other, but also the moral and social dilemmas they face, and also how they finally find true love and God. The main reason I really liked the book for is that their love for one another is totally pure, no lust involved. I mean, one is a Catholic priest and the other goes onto become one of the few female Rabbis, and both wait for about half a century to finally realize their love. I don’t think I can give a proper review of the book….it’s one of those which one has to read to be able to completely appreciate it.

Lord Of The Rings is one of the classic fantasies that I have read. Tolkien’s imagination simply blows one away. He created a whole mythology, history and geography along with the story. I guess what someone has said is true: ‘There are two groups of people in this world: those who have read LOTR and those who haven’t!’ After reading LOTR, I couldn’t help but feel that Harry Potter is really for children, LOTR is serious fantasy. I know that the films haven’t helped much in boosting the image of the book, but isn’t that the case with all books? The trilogy details the journey of Frodo Baggins with The Ring of the Dark Lord, Souron. The eternal struggle between good and evil in this world has been shown very accurately, with good almost succumbing every time but prevailing finally. Even if one is not interested in heavy interpretations as these, LOTR is a really good read just for the verbal and creative fertility of that great mind of Tolkien, who has created a whole world, with all the addendums that make up the “culture” of that world.

2003-09-30T23:56:00.000-04:00

Chaos in a void
Confusion
So much to say
Words left unsaid
I wait for you, friend
I need to talk.

These lines were written in a rather black mood. I am going home for Dussehra, and I can talk to my friend finally. Not much to say now, will post from home.